I just have to share this...

[Kallisto]

This is seriously how I feel every time I put a story up on Critique Circle. There's always going to be that one critiquer that is like this. I'm just like, "Wow, I wrote this whole thing in passive voice, but you're going to latch onto the fact a woman just walked up a hill wearing high heels."

 

[DLC]

Yeah I wondered that too, there's hardly a scene where he's eating. Immersion ruined.

 

[Pik]

If that's the best they can come up with, there's an opportunity there.