I'm Revising An Experimental Story And Would Love Input And Ideas

bACK iN mY dAY

Member
New Member
So. Basically I'm writing a Time Travel book (As will come up elsewhere on this forum) which is a series of semi-interlinked stories. One of these is a story which can be told in two different ways, changing the context of the contents as a result. For example, intially the text is displayed in sections - 1, 2 and 3. This version will have holes in it, and will feel a little off, but will be coherent. But this isn't the true version of the story. The true version is in the order 3, 1, 2, and this version not only works, but patches those holes, and makes more sense and tells the true story. So basically using this, you could frame one person as a murderer in a murder mystery, and then have the true version of the story show the true villain.

The above is a simplistic version of what I've been trying to do. You could call it cool, you could call it obnoxious, and regularly I've wondered about whether I should just tell the story normally. But I like the idea, and also I think that if it works, it will be the cherry on top of the book. But for it to work, it needs to work like a magic trick. The readers not only need to be fooled (that's simple enough) but when the twist of it is revealed they need to believe it. They need to know that the second version is the true version, they need to see the difference between one version and the other, and they need to also know that the first version was, in effect, a lie.

So I've been using some techniques to differentiate between one version and the other:

- As notes above, there are certain aspects of the story that don't add up, small holes in the plot, that indicate something is off. This needs to be a subtle effect though - you want the reader to believe in the opening story, even if there are oddities in it.

- Transitions between chapters. My best example of this is in the Avengers, when Nick Fury says 'War isn't won by weapons - it's won by soldiers.' and then you cut to Captain America (A super soldier) on a punching bag. You could use transitions like that in a story like this to show that the second version is more true. In the first version for example, these transitions would be hidden because the story is in the wrong order - but in the second version one chapter flows from one to another in a way that clearly shows that the latter version is the true version.

I'm sure there are more ways, but I haven't been able to think of any (and haven't thought about it in a while since that revision is coming up later), so if you guys have any ideas feel free to spitball.

The transition one has been a topic of conversation recently though, because the transitions I had in the first version didn't feel 'big' enough when the second version was revealed. (The other issue is that the readers didn't feel the story had changed enough in the new version to justify it, but that is too big a question).

For example, someone looking to check the weather at the end of one section and then the weather being the opening descriptor in the next felt and feels to light of a transition change. It's light and subtle, but maybe too subtle. Something like that isn't enough for the reader to go 'Oh I see it!' So I've been trying to look for stronger ways to carry out these transitions between scenes. But you still need the reader to believe in the opening section, so these transitions can't be obvious to the point of making the first section look odd, if you know what I mean.

So I'll be looking into some things, like my friends idea (To have the transitions be philosophical, states of mind rather than physical action or happenings) but I also wanted to drop this here for people to input their thoughts and ideas, if they had them. Thanks in advance!
 
A couple of questions -

Are the two versions of the story told in rotating chapters? So, in and out and in and out ... of the two versions?

Does the POV change? Are the two versions told by the same or different narrators?

(BTW, very original idea.)
 
A couple of questions -

Are the two versions of the story told in rotating chapters? So, in and out and in and out ... of the two versions?

Does the POV change? Are the two versions told by the same or different narrators?

(BTW, very original idea.)

Good questions. So:

How is it told?: How it looks currently is that Story A is told initially, and then later (A story or so later) the reader is told the 'true order' of the numbered sections within that story. It's something of a minor puzzle basically. This has a few problems, and I'm wondering if this story should simply be much shorter to make this simpler for the reader (or re-tell the story again in the right order). There was also the idea of having the sections have scissor lines, so you could cut them out and reorder them. That obviously has it's own issues as well. It's tricky 😅

Does the POV change? Yes, between a variety of characters. Quick count is... six or so, each section (26 sections) from a different perspective.
 
I’m not sure where the time travel comes into play, but the concept of multiple points of view about an event is not unknown. There are several books and movies where witness reliability is discussed.

I suggest watching Twelve Angry Men and Rashomon for some ideas.
 
Yes, it is a bit confusing. Maybe - create a thread that runs through all the sections, it may be a focus on a particular object, maybe, and each section will present the object in a different way

For sure it's a confusing subject - it's quite hard to explain. Also the Time Travel doesn't truly factor into the structure of the story, just the content. But I do quite like this idea of using an object or a subject to bridge the transitions between relevant sections. That also allows us to further demonstrate that some sections are connected in a deeper way then others. It's potentially a form of two factor authentication, where the transition from one section to another has two commonalities (a line of thinking and a subject/item they have in common) that make it undeniably the true version. It's a solid idea. Creating it would be a challenge but then this whole thing is.
 
I’m not sure where the time travel comes into play, but the concept of multiple points of view about an event is not unknown. There are several books and movies where witness reliability is discussed.

I suggest watching Twelve Angry Men and Rashomon for some ideas.
So the issue is that it's not different perspectives of an event. It's events that when chronologically rearranged change the meaning of the story. Best example I can give is this:

Version A - Husband watches significant other sleeping with someone else and is devastated > Husband breaks up with significant other > Husband has new lover.

Version B - Husband has new lover. > Husband breaks up with significant other > Husband watches significant other sleeping with someone else and is devastated

So the context of events changes depending on their order, if you see my meaning.
 
What's deeper reason to do so, any integral theme that require such artifice to be utilized for reader's maximum resonance with the text? What's personal reason for it asides from doing it for the sake's of doing it (or growth or personal challenge) that is also forming the story raison d'être? I feel that the opportunity cost is paramount there unless the stake is commensurate with the effort.
 
Last edited:
Back
Top