Static. Loud, snowy TV static. And then, a dark hill of ash. That’s where Ioanna was treading towards. Alone, question-less, and determined to climb it. She looked up the pitch-black sky. In its vast, vacant expanse, only the sun flared—its blooming edges blurry as if rendered behind worn scanlines.
The sun shrunk, multiplied, and rolled across her vision. Ioanna rubbed her eyes and focused back to the hill. She continued forwards even as her ears rang with metallic screeching.
When she reached the top, her vision was swarmed by the analogue snow. She rubbed her eyes desperately and then for just that one moment, she saw it—a big, crystal blue lake spanning beyond the hill. There on those glowing waters stood a whited-dressed, little girl. She held tightly onto a teddy bear, face cast down on the waters.
But when tilted her head upwards, her face was expressionless, blank and empty. Whispers. Ioanna heard countless whispers then. Her vision was swarmed by the same snowy static and—rolled to utter darkness.
***
When Ioanna woke from that terrible dream, the clear blue sky spanned outside the tiny airplane window, jet engines whirring. With a jitter out of those tiny speakers, the pilot announced in a metallic voice, “We will be landing in Qangata in approximately ten minutes.”
Ioanna glanced down the window at the massive tundra below, which seemed to span just as much as the sky itself. And just like the sky itself, it looked like a blank canvas—empty, isolated, free. For a single moment, she recalled the lush green regions of the seaside village she had spent most of her life. Her stone-built home by that road in the hill, the old school at the village bottom—where sea and the main village met—and all the red rooftops that up and around the mountain, spanning into the meadows.
She recalled her family bakery. She recalled how, early into every single morning—weekdays and weekends—her parents would rush to start the day. They’d ran back and forth between that giant stone oven, endlessly mixing, kneading, and shaping dough into all kinds of shapes and sizes.
And so they’d go on, working late into the day, just to come home covered in flour, sweat and oven soot. “One day, you and your future husband will inherit that bakery. It’s time you start to learn how,” they said to her the day which followed her sixteenth birthday.
In front of a Commodore 64 and a tube TV, she refused, and cited her own dreams. Hell followed, and the rest, she placed in the dark farside corner of her memory.
Now, brand new memories had started to occupy it. Memories that made those days look like nothing.
The plane made a sudden pivot to the left and forced her right out of her mind’s eye. Qangata zoomed into view as the plane neared the landing strip. Ioanna leaned back in her seat and relaxed. Out here in the middle of nowhere, she was safe from
him. She had to be.
***
With two suitcases by her hands, Ioanna exited the tiny airport, meeting the tiny town for the first time. The early summer sky was clear and bright, but her mind was not. She could not internally connect frosty, wet air to June. It confused her.
A black truck passed her. As far as she could see, there were corrugated warehouses and electrical poles and radio towers. She checked her wristwatch and realized that she was to meet with her new landlord for the keys. Keys she paid six months of rent in advance for.
She sighed and let a puff of cold air out. “What have I done?”
With a long face, and zero desire to ask anyone for directions of wherever the hell she was even meant to go, Ioanna gripped the handle of her suitcases and pressed ahead.
***
Farther into the town, Ioanna appeared to finally be inside the residential area. Homes built with either corrugated or painted planks of wood were arranged behind wide streets frosted lightly with morning ice.
She stopped for a second and looked around. Her new place of employment had arranged everything from her work visa to the rental and communicated it over e-mail. She was to meet a woman named Pana. Easy enough to remember. She also told herself that the address would be easy to remember. She didn’t need to print it out.
Once again, she let out a frosted sigh. She was such an idiot, indeed.
“Hey, you look troubled. Are you okay?”
The voice made her jump around, only to find a tall man standing there in official looking uniform. The slow realization of his position made her heart race. He was with the police. Ioanna said nothing and took two steps back.
The man in question visibly studied her behavior. She knew that avoiding him would be a mistake. But it was fine, she told herself. It was a coincidence. Had to be. It’s a small town.
Her fingers trembling, Ioanna answered. “I-I am fine.”
He raised a brow. “It doesn’t look like it to me. You are dragging these big suitcases around and going in circles.”
Ioanna’s heart quickened its pace. “You’ve had your eye on me? I did no wrong! I’m just a little lost…”
Her hands trembled even more. She noticed how his eyes locked into them for just a second before they returned to her own. “You seem stressed. Are you sure you are okay?”
“It’s just the cold. I’m not used to it.”
“Where are you headed, exactly?”
“I… don’t know.”
“What do you mean you don’t know?”
She didn’t know how to answer that. Would he even know what an e-mail is, or even understand the situation. But the barrage of questions made her extremely uncomfortable. It couldn’t be that he was sent by
him. That’s just impossible.
Or, was it?
The picture of his face, lit dimly by the rainstorm clouds, played back in her mind.
“
No matter where you go, I’ll make sure that you fail. Mark my words.”
Lightning struck and brought Ioanna to the present. The policeman still stood in front of her. What if this was some kind of setup?
“I forgot to print the e-mail, okay?” Ioanna quickly said, gripping her suitcases. “Am I alright to go, or am I under some kind of investigation?”
“Investigation? No, no, not at all—“
“Then, if you’ll excuse me.”
Ioanna took her suitcases and went up a small uphill. She could feel the policeman, staring at her back. Most likely, she was just paranoid. But she knew that you could never be too safe in this dark, sorrowful world.
***
It took her an hour, but she found the address an hour later than the meeting time. Pana, a kind-looking elderly woman, still waited by the grey bungalow’s patio, a cup of tea by the white table.
“Hi,” she said as she climbed the stairway. “I am sorry for being late.”
“You must be… Ioanna,” Pana said with a smile as she tried her best to pronounce her name. She failed, but Ioanna was used to it by now, so she didn’t mind it. “Welcome, welcome. Let me show you inside.”
Pana turned the doorknob and opened the door to the decently spaced home. A kitchen by the left, a small living room that consisted of a sofa; coffee table and an old Sony Trinitron in the front, as well as a bedroom door to the right of the living room.
After a small tour around the home, Pana handed the keys with her usual, warm smile that she always put out. Ioanna could tell it was genuine. “I hope you enjoy it, dear. Will you be staying here for long?”
Ioanna had no desire for small talk. “Thanks, and I don’t really know. It depends. Anyway, I’m tired, so, if you’ll excuse me…”
Pana’s warm smile melted away. “Of course. Please let me know if you need anything. I live right across.”
With that, she left and closed the door behind her, leaving Ioanna with the sweet silence she longed for. She unzipped one of the suitcases and unburied the 486DX machine from underneath the pile of clothes she secured it with. She hoped the hard drive survived the trip. There was no way in hell she could afford another right now.
After she picked a random change of clothes, she showered and immediately returned her attention to the machine. She set it underneath the TV like a DVD player and plugged the S-Video cable. Knowing she wouldn’t have access to a real monitor for a while, she equipped it with such a video card before she ran away from America.
With the push of a button, it booted to Windows 3.11. This digital space was her place of comfort. The only place she felt at home, no matter where she was in this world. She set the keyboard on the coffee table. Ordinarily, she’d run Telnet and login to a BBS and have fun exploring there, but no phone line was available in her new home.
Instead, she opened Microsoft Word and decided to a translate a Greek song that had been on her mind as of late.
Those words and years lost
and the sadness which covered them in smoke
it was the night who found them in brotherhood
And that sudden happiness I found
it was dark lightning tearing through forests
and reasons I made for you
And I speak to you in balconies and yards
and in the lost gardens of God
Because I always seem to think
that the nightingale will come
with those words and years lost
Unable to go on, Ioanna went to bed. The whole night, she dreamed of birds swarming clear skies.