Writing a Love Scene (Help Wanted)

[Luxuria]

So, in my current work, I realized I am going to have write an actual sex scene. Something I am not very skilled at doing. So, I would like some advice on how to maybe go about it. The scene can't be closed door, because it does forward the plot and story lore. But I am also not looking to write something X-rated. I have also heard it's best to focus on the characters thoughts and feelings? This makes a lot of sense, but how long should this scene be? Because I am not trying to write a long-form smut scene, just an interesting and needed sex scene.

Here's some more useful information: It's a heterosexual scene, which is also not something I am familiar with as I am homosexual. But I am wondering as well if you have any tips on how to make this work? And the story is in 1st person past-tense POV and I am not sure if I should use the MMC's or the FMC's POV for this. I think having both might be excessive?

Not sure what else to say, but would like some advice (forum appropriate of course) on how to write this scene.

 

[Homer Potvin]

Shorter is better than longer. The mental/emotional experience will always be more effective than the physical choreography. Shifting POVs would be an epic fail. End of the day, it's the elevation of character relationships that make the necessity of the sex scene necessary, as you stated. So there's a beginning point, a short arc, and an end point for all that. Unless you're writing erotica, in which case, choreography is more important.

I guess I would ask why you think it's necessary in the narrative sense. Whatever that reason is will be much more important than the X's and O's.

 

[Dee-123]

Hi. It's difficult to answer without understanding the story's tone, character, plot. You do mention plot advancement but I think the first thing you need to ask yourself is Why is this scene Required? Why do you need to write it and why your reticence to do so (if I've read that correctly)? That conflict in itself can potentially be a powerful driver in your writing.

If we take a fight scene as an example, a writer could spend 1000 words showing the fight in detail, sights and sounds and thoughts and smells. Or, they could say "I shot that bastard dead". The first is immersive the second is shocking and dramatic but both drive story. It really depends on what you're trying to achieve. If you want to add a little flavour it might be useful for further advice. One thing's for sure - there's no shortage of corpus to pull from

 

[Luxuria]

Shorter is better than longer. The mental/emotional experience will always be more effective than the physical choreography. Shifting POVs would be an epic fail. End of the day, it's the elevation of character relationships that make the necessity of the sex scene necessary, as you stated. So there's a beginning point, a short arc, and an end point for all that. Unless you're writing erotica, in which case, choreography is more important.

I guess I would ask why you think it's necessary in the narrative sense. Whatever that reason is will be much more important than the X's and O's.

Thanks. I am glad to know it's better to have a scene like this be shorter. Because I honestly get bored writing them. I don't know why, but I prefer gore and fight scenes. (Although, I must say the two types of scenes can have a lot in common sometimes.) Good to know not to shift POVs. Yeah, I think I am confused what is a 'normal' sex scene, as I hear so much about Erotica and have read fanfic stuff which is always like...well, erotic, if not blatant smut.

To answer both of you, this scene is important, because the characters both get 'new' powers because of it? Also, the main female character got cheated out of her (previous) wedding night and I think has been somewhat upset about that for awhile. Even though she hasn't mentioned it. The first marriage wasn't consummated, to put it simply. So, I guess as the author, I am a bit nervous to write this? Because I don't know what the characters will do?

I think the first thing you need to ask yourself is Why is this scene Required? Why do you need to write it and why your reticence to do so (if I've read that correctly)? That conflict in itself can potentially be a powerful driver in your writing.

I think the scene is required, because it ends a story plot, kind of. Also, begins a new one that might be important somehow later on, as the new powers these characters get could play a huge role later one. I don't know how, yet. I think I need to write it, because the story I feel has been building towards it to from the beginning? I think I would be sad if I was the reader and didn't get a scene after 80K of romantic build up and such. I am just hesitant to write it, because I usually don't write on-screen sex. (Given though that most of the sex in my stories is better referenced than shown.) But this one, I think needs to be on-screen and I have NEVER in my 15+ Years of writing, written an onscreen, no fade to black/door closing sex scene.

 

[Dee-123]

Hey again.
Honestly, I think you should worry less about the mechanics of it all than the effect on the characters. Silly example below:
"He reached towards the creaky cupboard and withdrew two cups, one that was chipped and blue and the other racing red. She watched him move as an Ikea kettle whistled on the Formica counter. He spooned lemon tea from a jar they'd bought in England then she poured boiling water that gurgled and filled the air with citrus."
Who the hell cares?
"When he made tea her heart ached with memories of England"
I MIGHT care

Don't get too hung up. Write it. See how it makes you feel. Revision is writing.

All the best.

 

[THUNDAIR]

This is from my first novel so be kind..
He gently laid me onto the smooth grass. I focused on some wild flowers as I tried not to think of what was happening to me. I passed in and out of a reality, of something I did and did not want to happen. At times, the perspiration from our bodies seemed like a cool river. At other times, my skin seemed as hot as an inferno. My body had a wave of feelings I’d never experienced before. It was as if we were one person, our bodies moving together. Somewhere along the way, I came to the realization of what I was doing, but I didn’t want to stop. My heart was still racing as we slowed to an end as cautiously as we had begun.

René whispered to me, “I do love you, Andrée.”

 

[Luxuria]

This is from my first novel so be kind..
He gently laid me onto the smooth grass. I focused on some wild flowers as I tried not to think of what was happening to me. I passed in and out of a reality, of something I did and did not want to happen. At times, the perspiration from our bodies seemed like a cool river. At other times, my skin seemed as hot as an inferno. My body had a wave of feelings I’d never experienced before. It was as if we were one person, our bodies moving together. Somewhere along the way, I came to the realization of what I was doing, but I didn’t want to stop. My heart was still racing as we slowed to an end as cautiously as we had begun.

René whispered to me, “I do love you, Andrée.”

Thank you so much for the example!

 

[GlitterRain]

I’m in the camp of focus more on the feelings/emotions than what the characters are physically doing. This is also something that pretty much any author in the YA category is doing when they write these scenes, if you would be interested in some examples.

The only time I would consider bringing in a little more beyond that is if it somehow ties into something the character is feeling or experiencing emotionally. For example, I wrote a scene where a couple who have been together for years - very emotionally attached to each other - but have never done “it” are finally doing it. It physically hurts the girl. The guy (his POV), can’t bear watching her get hurt (over anything, not just this), and it especially hurts him that he is hurting her. So he naturally obsesses over that for the duration, but I made a point to be as vague as I could with descriptions (if you even want to call it a description over just stating vaguely what is happening) and focus on how he is emotionally hurting because she is physically hurting. But I believe it is valuable to the story because it shows that even when he is getting something, if she is getting hurt over it, it is almost not worth it to him. It kind of foreshadows things that happen later on.

Regarding length, I’d focus on making sure you are sufficiently getting the emotions the characters are supposed to be feeling on the page, then get out of the scene. I’d imagine that will probably put the scene on the shorter end of length.

I’d use the POV of the character who is experiencing the most interesting and relevant emotions for the plot.

 

[Louanne Learning]

this scene is important, because the characters both get 'new' powers because of it?

A suggestion - link the sex scene to this theme of "power" - make getting their powers the focus of it, and relate that to the power they feel in having sex - whether that is in their own awakening to the power of their bodies to bring them to an "otherworldly" place (i.e. the intensity of sex) or the power they have over one another to bring them to a place where they forget all else and have themselves concentrated in an ancient instinct that blots the rest of creation...

 

[Luxuria]

I’m in the camp of focus more on the feelings/emotions than what the characters are physically doing. This is also something that pretty much any author in the YA category is doing when they write these scenes, if you would be interested in some examples.

The only time I would consider bringing in a little more beyond that is if it somehow ties into something the character is feeling or experiencing emotionally. For example, I wrote a scene where a couple who have been together for years - very emotionally attached to each other - but have never done “it” are finally doing it. It physically hurts the girl. The guy (his POV), can’t bear watching her get hurt (over anything, not just this), and it especially hurts him that he is hurting her. So he naturally obsesses over that for the duration, but I made a point to be as vague as I could with descriptions (if you even want to call it a description over just stating vaguely what is happening) and focus on how he is emotionally hurting because she is physically hurting. But I believe it is valuable to the story because it shows that even when he is getting something, if she is getting hurt over it, it is almost not worth it to him. It kind of foreshadows things that happen later on.

Regarding length, I’d focus on making sure you are sufficiently getting the emotions the characters are supposed to be feeling on the page, then get out of the scene. I’d imagine that will probably put the scene on the shorter end of length.

I’d use the POV of the character who is experiencing the most interesting and relevant emotions for the plot.

Thanks for all this advice! I do think emotions are the key here. I also appreciated your insight into how to use scenes like this for character building. Good to know the scene doesn't have to be all that long. As I am writing for an adult audience, though. I feel I should be a little more explicit (maybe not smutty). But yes, the emotions are sure to matter quite a lot.

 

[Luxuria]

A suggestion - link the sex scene to this theme of "power" - make getting their powers the focus of it, and relate that to the power they feel in having sex - whether that is in their own awakening to the power of their bodies to bring them to an "otherworldly" place (i.e. the intensity of sex) or the power they have over one another to bring them to a place where they forget all else and have themselves concentrated in an ancient instinct that blots the rest of creation...

This is a wonderful idea, too. I think I will use it. Because the powers play a huge role in the story - the ones the characters currently have and ones they don't.

 

[Homer Potvin]

Honestly, you can get in and out in paragraph... pun intended.

 

[THUNDAIR]

I found another one in my second novel ...
Katy moved in front of Daniel and dropped her towel to the floor. Daniel’s breathing changed, and he suddenly forgot about all the problems of the day. He did remember to touch his smartphone and changed the lighting with just the right music. They played around in bed like children, laughing at little things, tossing a hat on each other’s head. Daniel stopped for a moment when Katy stood—admiring her beauty with nothing on but his baseball cap. I’m a lucky man.

 

[Qvortable]

Run through the whole scene from the perspective of the other sex of the act (if you're male think about how the female character would experience it and vice versa) but don't write them down. Then approach it just like another scene building, with lots and lots of barrier and any kind of conflicts you can possibly throw in without ruining the vibe and build up. Later on edit it with the intent of aligning it with the story's theme, if it matches then it stays, else just cut it or go for narrative summary.

 

[Dogberry's Watch]

If it's the first time between the two characters, there's going to be awkwardness. There's the insecurities we think we have gotten over that pop up almost instantly the moment the clothes start to come off. "Maybe we can do this without going fully bare? Maybe the lights can go off, maybe we have music blasting so you can't hear me dying of embarrassment because I don't know how to handle this?"

There's always an initial awkward stage for first timers, regardless of the closeness of the relationship. This is a new step/stage for it. A vulnerability that's expected, but the significance is far more than anticipated. Unless one of them is very very confident in themselves and that plays into the other one not being so nervous because "well, they know what they're doing, so..."

Getting too detailed only works for specific genres, so like others have said probably best not to get too buried in them. I find my favorite "scenes" are the ones that focus on the unexpected details. Like maybe the light hits the room in an unexpected way, or the sound of the sheets is too loud for the quiet of the moment they're trying to have.

I don't know if any of what I said makes any kind of difference, haha. Just dropping my two cents in the pile.

 

[Trish]

I never saw this thread. I have a few thoughts.

Shifting POVs would be an epic fail.

I mean.... no? I've done this many times, actually, and it's never been a fail. If the power dynamic switches, the POV can too. Regardless of which side of the dynamic you're showing. A more advanced technique, and I'm not saying it's recommended here, but a blanket statement of epic fail? Nope.

End of the day, it's the elevation of character relationships that make the necessity of the sex scene necessary,

Precisely this (and sometimes that means a POV switch is warranted )

To answer both of you, this scene is important, because the characters both get 'new' powers because of it? Also, the main female character got cheated out of her (previous) wedding night and I think has been somewhat upset about that for awhile. Even though she hasn't mentioned it. The first marriage wasn't consummated, to put it simply. So, I guess as the author, I am a bit nervous to write this? Because I don't know what the characters will do?

If it's the first time between the two characters, there's going to be awkwardness.

Okay @Luxuria what Dogberry said above is going to be an absolute given here, and necessary. And that's fantastic news for you, because the awkwardness you feel writing it, you can let that bleed onto the page a little, through them. Like when you're thinking "what the hell? How do I even do this?" let them think it. If you're wondering "would this even feel good for him? How the fuck does that work?" let her wonder that.

Are the powers manifesting during? Like are they aware? That's going to pull some focus depending on what those powers are. Just don't overthink it and you're going to be fine. Don't worry about positions, environment, or anything that isn't an actual thought they would be having in the moment. Emotions, thoughts, and senses. Sensations on skin, sounds, smells (think about things, can he smell her hair, can she smell something on him - good or bad, they're mood enhancers for the story and they can carry a lot of weight), etc. Particularly in first person - choreography - fuggedaboutit. Entirely. It matters so far as who's touching where. That's it, and only so much as you feel you need to put on the page. All of it can be inference if you want.

 

[Homer Potvin]

I mean.... no? I've done this many times, actually, and it's never been a fail. If the power dynamic switches, the POV can too. Regardless of which side of the dynamic you're showing. A more advanced technique, and I'm not saying it's recommended here, but a blanket statement of epic fail? Nope.

I was referring to the shifting out of 1st person like Lux mentioned, or between 1st's, I think. Can't remember from September, but can't think of why I would recommend not doing it between thirds. Unless maybe it's omniscient.

 

[Trish]

I was referring to the shifting out of 1st person like Lux mentioned, or between 1st's, I think. Can't remember from September, but can't think of why I would recommend not doing it between thirds. Unless maybe it's omniscient.

She's doing 1st person past - alternating POV's, which is the same thing I do except I do present tense. There's no reason not to do it. There's no rule that says a sex scene has to end in the chapter it started in.

 

[Stuart Dren]

Here's some more useful information: It's a heterosexual scene, which is also not something I am familiar with as I am homosexual. But I am wondering as well if you have any tips on how to make this work? And the story is in 1st person past-tense POV and I am not sure if I should use the MMC's or the FMC's POV for this. I think having both might be excessive?

I don't know. Fundamentally I don't think there's that much of a difference, especially if you're not being explicit in your descriptions. Typically one party is more forward than the other, but even in a heterosexual coupling that's not always the man, and it need not be consistent throughout i.e. control can shift, like a fight, except in this case it's playfully given and taken, and no one's backflipping onto a crag then proclaiming he has the high ground. Or, well, I mean, not usually.

I think there's been some great advice so far. I'd add that it's worth seeking out some love scenes to just get an idea of how wildly they vary. The explicit ones will still have good examples of non-explicit technique and language.

For myself I just haven't felt one would add anything to my stories... yet. I'm sure a reason will pop up at some point.

The POV switch thing is interesting. For effect, when the two protagonists of my first novel finally meet for the third time—under oppositional circumstances—I rapid fire ping-ponged their POV from scene-to-scene, even bridged a sentence across to indicate each was thinking the same thought at one point. It's not a gimmick I would use often, but it was a lot of fun.

 

[Homer Potvin]

She's doing 1st person past - alternating POV's, which is the same thing I do except I do present tense. There's no reason not to do it. There's no rule that says a sex scene has to end in the chapter it started in.

No reason ever? Thanks for the lesson...