Any lawyers that can tear my magical/fantasy legalese to shreds?

[aside_dish]

Hopefully it's okay to post this here. But I'm a former IRS agent who fell in love with tax research. I'm also an aspiring fantasy writer. Somewhere along the way, I decided to combine the two, and begin to write in-depth magical legalese, including an entire code of regulations.

I've posted it elsewhere in writing forums and on reddit (to no avail for the latter), and people seem to like it, but I'd love to find a place to get actual lawyers and legal experts to give their takes on it all, as I want my stuff to be solid. So, thought I'd next try here. I have one big document (the code of regulations) and some other contracts and such below, and I want to see if stuff is missing, inconsistent, doesn't make sense, is exploitable, or anything like that.

Appreciate any and all thoughts, thanks!

(Links deleted by Mod)

 

[JT Woody]

Is it possible to post the text of the documents in the Worshop (like, 1 post wirshop post per doc? I'd rather not click links.

 

[aside_dish]

Is it possible to post the text of the documents in the Worshop (like, 1 post wirshop post per doc? I'd rather not click links.

Understandable. Unfortunately, the code of regulations alone is 62 pages. If it makes you feel any better, here's a video of me clicking (link deleted)

 

[Stuart Dren]

DnD players seem like the type to appreciate this. Have you tried PnP role-playing communities? I'm not implying it shouldn't be here, just that you might get more bites elsewhere. There's probably a DM or two who would love to spring this full-tang prop on her players, and I have known players who would genuinely enjoy trying to find legal loopholes in something like this (the same players that decode the DM's cyphers).

 

[Homer Potvin]

Sorry @aside_dish but we don't do links or external critique of any kind. You're welcome to post things in the Workshop, but traffic might be light.

 

[aside_dish]

Sorry @aside_dish but we don't do links or external critique of any kind. You're welcome to post things in the Workshop, but traffic might be light.

Gotcha, sorry about that. Didn't use the workshop because it's way too long to put in a post (the long document itself is 62 pages right now).

 

[aside_dish]

DnD players seem like the type to appreciate this. Have you tried PnP role-playing communities? I'm not implying it shouldn't be here, just that you might get more bites elsewhere. There's probably a DM or two who would love to spring this full-tang prop on her players, and I have known players who would genuinely enjoy trying to find legal loopholes in something like this (the same players that decode the DM's cyphers).

I've posted it a few places where there's a lot of DnD/TTRPG players, and they seemed to like it. Been really trying to find a place where actual lawyers can rip it apart, though. Every legal subreddit I've looked at won't allow it.

 

[JLT]

I know next to nothing about law, but I do recognize that laws can so widely from government entity (city, county, state, country) to entity that you can only hope for generalizations. Also, law is now specialized to the extent that a tax lawyer may know next to nothing about tort law, criminal law, estate law, or civil law. So, again, their advice might not be worth much.

Gotcha, sorry about that. Didn't use the workshop because it's way too long to put in a post (the long document itself is 62 pages right now).

It might be worth posting only a synopsis detailing the specific point you want to clarify. That shouldn't take more than a paragraph or two.

 

[Naomasa298]

Let me ask this, and it's a serious question.

Are all 62 pages important for your story?

If you're interested in feedback on the legality or consistency, then what you want isn't feedback from writers, but feedback from lawyers and accountants - and they tend to charge money.

 

[Madman Starryteller]

What you're looking for is probably an authenticity or expert reader who is familiar with the field you want expertise from, in this case legal stuff. But, like @Naomasa298 said they will probably charge money.

You could contact different law firms or law schools and see if anyone is interested in doing it for free if they're given an advanced reader copy of your book as well as a thank you note in the book. But that would be very rare.

 

[JT Woody]

Another thing... from what i saw from the link titles before they were deleted, it looks like they were in various areas of law. For example, i remember seeing one for HOA.
1 attorney doesnt fit alll.

From my time working in the Law Library, attorneys like to stick the the area of law they know best. I had many patrons wanting to come to my Family Law legal clinic day to speak with an attorney about an eveiction or a lawsuit. Those attorney's cant help them because their area of law is Family Law, not Housing or Litigation.
In addition, a probate attorney may know next to nothing about civil litigation.

Where it may get expensive for you is consulting multiple different attorneys as subject experts.

 

[Stuart Dren]

I've posted it a few places where there's a lot of DnD/TTRPG players, and they seemed to like it. Been really trying to find a place where actual lawyers can rip it apart, though. Every legal subreddit I've looked at won't allow it.

I don't know if there are that many idle lawyers. On the other hand, I hear there will soon be a surplus of paralegals.

It's a hunk of lore, rather than story. Maybe worldbuilding stack exchange? A regulation enthusiast is most I would expect.

Entertainment is an option: think Youtube law content from a stranger who's not necessarily a registered professional. However, that feels closer to publishing it, and there might not be appeal since it's not attached to a story.