Evolution of style

[athousandsorrows]

The title is called Anomaly. Best way I can describe it is just show what I've got so far. It's meant to go back and forth from two different perspectives. One from a mortal outlook the other an eternal. I just am at a loss for plot. Its essentially prose poetry.

____

Tired broke soul lost in the flames of a thousand suns, burning inexhaustible. Charred, marred, hope and flesh. Ignited from the fury of an eternal love. Escaping the inescapable. Pointless endeavour of an infinite routine, set in place by an unreachable height, and unfathomable depth.

Of course human, progeny of Adam. Your hope should be as endless as my wrath untouchable.

__
That's all I got so far. I'm in the middle of a regular novel at the moment. But the idea came I wanted to write it down.

 

[Night Herald]

The title is called Anomaly. Best way I can describe it is just show what I've got so far. It's meant to go back and forth from two different perspectives. One from a mortal outlook the other an eternal. I just am at a loss for plot. Its essentially prose poetry.

____

Tired broke soul lost in the flames of a thousand suns, burning inexhaustible. Charred, marred, hope and flesh. Ignited from the fury of an eternal love. Escaping the inescapable. Pointless endeavour of an infinite routine, set in place by an unreachable height, and unfathomable depth.

Of course human, progeny of Adam. Your hope should be as endless as my wrath untouchable.

__
That's all I got so far. I'm in the middle of a regular novel at the moment. But the idea came I wanted to write it down.

I like it, definitely something there to build on. It could go places.

 

[athousandsorrows]

I like it, definitely something there to build on. It could go places.

For real? It's not too verbose?

 

[Night Herald]

For real? It's not too verbose?

Maybe for some, I'm personally pretty fond of verbosity. I'm way too sleepy to offer anything remotely like sensible critique, but I will say I really like the line "Pointless endeavour of an infinite routine, set in place by an unreachable height, and unfathomable depth."

Pointless endeavour of an infinite routine. That's good stuff. Tastes like cosmic ennui.

 

[athousandsorrows]

Maybe for some, I'm personally pretty fond of verbosity. I'm way too sleepy to offer anything remotely like sensible critique, but I will say I really like the line "Pointless endeavour of an infinite routine, set in place by an unreachable height, and unfathomable depth."

Pointless endeavour of an infinite routine. That's good stuff. Tastes like cosmic ennui.

Sometimes a detailed critique isn't necessary. I'll see where it'll lead.

 

[Stuart Dren]

What I have found is that my earlier works were raw; in style and emotion, and later versions after, are smoother but sometimes the roughness of the earlier versions before connects more. Strange.

I've edited all the personality out of my short stories before.

I think I've since gotten better at resisting the self-critical urge to oatmeal everything, though.

 

[Also]

I write short stories as a way to learn my 'trade' but every time I edit, I save it under a new copy so if the new one doesn't quite work, I can fall back onto the version before.

It's such a strong reflex for me to press Ctrl-S each time I complete a decent bunch of paragraphs or finish rewriting one that I could only do this by saving a new copy when I begin editing. Many is the time I've spoiled a reference copy with that half-conscious Cttl-S. It's basically every time I lean back against the chairback for a deeper breath.