Getting Emotional When Writing/Reading

[JT Woody]

Many of you who came over in the Great Migration may know that I stutter (I've shared about it on the old site).
I'm going to my first conference next month for people who stutter. I plan to read a poem that i wrote when I was in 8th grade, which showed my negative and low self-esteem regarding my speech (i have many poems that i'd written growing up about it, but this one makes me cry every time....)

I really wany to share it as a "where i was" versus "where i am now" in regard to my speech. I have a poem that i'd written recently about accepting my speech.
But i know I will get emotional and cry when I read it....

It will also be the first time i'll be reading any of my written work in front of a large, live audience.

just looking for advice.

 

[DLC]

If it's in front of people like yourself, I'm sure they'll understand. One of my best friends growing up stuttered really badly, but over the years he got it under control to the point he rarely did. It's not an easy thing. You'll be fine.

 

[buttercream]

Let yourself feel. Your emotions will add more meaning to your poems and the story they tell. To repeat what's already been said, I can't imagine anyone there judging you for it. It'll be okay.

Make sure to have water and tissues on hand!

 

[CatrionaGrace]

Congratulations on reading in front of a large audience for the first time.

When I'm tired or distressed, I stammer, sometimes badly. Reading aloud is similar to singing. As long as I'm paying attention to the rhythm and lilt of the words and phrases, I can read with little or no stuttering. I also have to be careful to not allow my thoughts to wander while my mouth goes on autopilot.

Crying and emotion are usually okay as long as they don't render the reading unintelligible. Repeatedly reading difficult pieces aloud helps wear out unwanted involuntary emotional responses so that one controls the poem and not the other way around. It might take a person three readings to gain control. It might take twelve or twenty. Reading aloud effectively requires practice like any other skill. It is theater.

Hope something in all those words helps.

 

[Rigor Mortis]

Reading before a live audience is not something I'd relish and I can absolutely empathise with your anxiety.

There are a few things worth remembering: there are reasons you're attending the conference, reasons you want to share your writing and reasons you know it will connect with the audience. None of those reasons involve torturing yourself (unless they do, in which case there's probably a help line you should check out). Audience members will hold much of the same attitude and connection as you will towards anyone else speaking before it. If there's any group capable of understanding nervousness about public speaking, it is one comprised of people who stutter, so they will be supportive.

Last thing I'd mention, whatever way it goes and however it pans out, there is zero chance of negative outcomes, as you probably know already, it's just getting through the doing it before you can reflect on how well it went from the other side.

 

[writersaurus]

Many of you who came over in the Great Migration may know that I stutter (I've shared about it on the old site).
I'm going to my first conference next month for people who stutter. I plan to read a poem that i wrote when I was in 8th grade, which showed my negative and low self-esteem regarding my speech (i have many poems that i'd written growing up about it, but this one makes me cry every time....)

I really wany to share it as a "where i was" versus "where i am now" in regard to my speech. I have a poem that i'd written recently about accepting my speech.
But i know I will get emotional and cry when I read it....

It will also be the first time i'll be reading any of my written work in front of a large, live audience.

just looking for advice.

Try not to be so hard on yourself. Don't worry about being 'perfect', just be yourself and let it come from the heart rather than the head. I don't know if that makes sense. I'm sure you'll do great!

 

[Louanne Learning]

I'm not sure if this will be helpful, but I'll share a bit of my experience as a teacher. Teachers become very good at speaking in front of crowds. It's because you learn to see yourself as a conduit of the message rather than the focus of the attention. The message is the focus. Concentrate on the words as you say them, and your desire to have them understood. I hope this helps.

 

[GlitterRain]

I’m very shy in person and constantly feel like no one “cares” what I have to say. If I have to do something in regards to speaking up, I just keep in mind that whatever it is, if I don’t just be brave and say it, it will not get out there and I won’t benefit from whatever it is that I need/want from saying it, or I won’t help whoever I want to help or whatever from saying it.

So what do you “want” from reading this poem out loud? Answer that, and let that be your driver, the thing that makes you get up there and share your poem with others.

Hopefully this helps. I wish you good luck!

 

[Rad Scribbler]

When I was younger, up to about age 20/21, I also used to stutter. This might not work for everyone who stutters, but what helped me overcome it was to read aloud - book, magazine etc.

Fortunately I have overcome it/outgrown it. Stuttering can be conquered - all the best to you, JT Woody.

 

[JT Woody]

So, i did it.

I was more than a little emotional... i was literally crying and sobbing as i got through the poem. then i went out in the hall and had a panic attack to which a staffer came out to coach me through it.

But i did it!
this is the first thing that i've written that i've read in front of a live audience

 

[Rigor Mortis]

So, i did it.

I was more than a little emotional... i was literally crying and sobbing as i got through the poem. then i went out in the hall and had a panic attack to which a staffer came out to coach me through it.

But i did it!
this is the first thing that i've written that i've read in front of a live audience

Fulsome congrats, never doubted you'd conquer it!

 

[Rad Scribbler]

So, i did it.

I was more than a little emotional... i was literally crying and sobbing as i got through the poem. then i went out in the hall and had a panic attack to which a staffer came out to coach me through it.

But i did it!
this is the first thing that i've written that i've read in front of a live audience

Well done @JT Woody. Keep at it. As I posted before, stuttering can be overcome.

 

[CatrionaGrace]

Way to go, JT. You not only rock, you rocket.

 

[JT Woody]

i'm back in the "real world" now (so to speak)
but while i was there, people kept approaching me about the poem, asking if i published it anywhere or will be publishing it. thats something to think about. it was personal, and something i wrote as child. plus, im not as familiar with poetry publications as I am with fiction.
Still.... it would be worth looking in to, i guess?

I also want to add something about overcoming stuttering: why should i have to overcome something that is a part of me? its what i learned while i was there. i was nervous and even hesitant to speak when i first got there because for so long i was conscious of my stutter. dont be the first one to speak... dont say too much because you might stutter... careful about which words you use because some words are harder to say than others.
but there... no one cared about any of that. people stuttered openly and, because of that, i spoke. i participated, i met strangers, i introduced myself (Every stutterer i met stuttered on their name, like me). People were patient, and accepting, and i felt normal for once.
no one was there to "fix" themselves, but to be themselves.

(I know Rad was being helpful and supportive, so i'm not upset or offended by the comment. But i did some reflecting since then and wanted to share these thoughts)

 

[CatrionaGrace]

The sexiest damn man I ever met stuttered. It was part of his overall charm.