A real short Ghost Story. Humor.
My Roommate
The room was cold. Laying in bed, warm under the blankets, keeping as still as I could, I concentrating on my breathing.
Maybe he would go away if he thought I was asleep. He was at the end of the bed, I could not see him as much as sense him. Low sobbing sounds filled the room, I could tell he was being a little dramatic.
"I know you're awake Bunky."
I pretend I can't hear, not moving a muscle or changing my breathing.
He sniffles a little. "It’s just—just not right!"
I let out a sigh of disgust; I guess sleep is out of the question. "What’s wrong now?" I ask.
"I don’t get no respect—they’re saying..."
I interrupt, "What you’re Rodney Dangerfield now? Can’t we just talk in the morning?" I can tell by his silence he's mad now.
What are the chances that the house I bought would not only be haunted, but by a ghost with low self-esteem? It’s 2 am and I am trying to make 'him' feel better.
"Really—Bunky—Really!" He sounded agitated, "Talk in the morning! Did you forget who you’re talking to?" it was his turn to be annoyed
I use my best friend voice to smooth things over. "Sorry, what da want talk about?"
"They have been giving me a hard time, calling me Casper the ghost."
I sit up in the bed to talk. "You mean by 'they' your other ghost buddies?"
"We had this conversation before. That's derogatory! 'We' can say ghost and it’s ok, you have to say spiritual entity or it is just rude. And don’t go around telling everyone it's ok for you to say-- because you have a ghost friend."
"Sorry--" I replied.
He continued. "I have a couple of buddies that are going to come over to visit."
"What!" I responded. "Now I am supposed to entertain for you and your low life, I mean no life friends?"
"Well… buddy old pal, I was hoping you could, you know, act all scared, wet your pants, scream like a little girl, call 911. Would ya… for me please?"
"You think that will get them to stop calling you Casper? – Kind of a lot to ask, isn’t it?"
He is acting all chipper now. "For me buddy old pal... would ya?"
"I’ll do something to make ya look bad ass. Maybe not wet myself, but I’ll put on a show, if it will make you feel better… When are they coming?
He sheepishly replied, "Tomorrow."
"You’re kidding me right? Tomorrow!"
"They’re on vacation and wanna stop by."
"Ghosts..." I started to say, "I’m Sorry… On vacation ... For real!"
"You know, just because you’re dead, doesn’t mean you stop living."
I sat there shivering, trying to take this all in. My roommate, my friend, is certainly a pain in the ass.
"Bunky, what’s the deal with the heat in here anyway? It’s freakin freezin! And what’s the deal with the place being so messy, you ought to clean it up. We got company coming."
"Heat is busted, got a guy comin tomorrow. Why do you care? I didn’t think you could tell one way or the other. And since when does it matter what the place looked like? I thought you guys all liked empty abandon houses that were falling down?"
Bunky, Bunky, Bunky... Too much TV, too much Stephen King… We still like nice stuff. You got to stop with this stereotypical crap."
"Me!… You’re accusing me of using stereotypes? Didn’t you just ask me to run around and act all scared…scared of the big bad ghost… I mean. Sorry again…You know what I mean. Kinda like calling the kettle black isn’t?"
The house was silent. No smart come back. I knew I had him with that one.
Finally breaking the silence in his best friend voice he asked "For me old buddy old pal… for me…would ya?"
I took a deep breath. It was my turn to be dramatic, "Ok, I will, but I have one favor to ask, its kind of personal?"
His response was immediate, "Sure buddy anything."
I lowered my voice to a whisper, barely mumbling the words.
"What, …Huh… I can’t hear you."
"I said it was personal, I’m not going to shout it out."
He comes closer and leans in, we are almost touching.
I shout as loud as I can, "BOOOO!"
He shrieked; knocking over the lamp in his attempt to flee. I couldn’t contain my laughter. And with that, he was gone