Is it incest?

[Naomasa298]

Technically no. But I'm asking more whether you'd *feel* it was incest or not?

So here's the scenario. A man's been away from home for a decade. While he's been away, the family has adopted a girl, who he's never met. She is now 18, he is 26.

He comes home and meets his adopted sister. They fall in love and eventually decide they want to marry.

So how would you, as a reader, feel about that?

 

[ps102]

If they're not biologically related, I don't see the problem—especially since they just met. It'd be different if they knew each other from childhood, found out they aren't siblings after all, and suddenly fell in love. That'd be more questionable.

What bothers me most is their age gap. It's not huge per se, but 18 and 26 is a combination many would take issue with. An 18 year old is still a teen and fresh out of high school. There is a massive difference in life experience. If we were talking about a 30 year old and a 38 year old (same gap), they'd have more identical life experiences (working a job, being a 'full-fledged adult', etc).

 

[Naomasa298]

Though legally, it is incest, biologically, it isn't.

As far as the ages are concerned, I don't personally see an issue with it but I accept that some readers might. I think it's about acceptable (I've used a similar gap in another story). Also to note, this will be a supernatural thriller story.

 

[X Equestris]

“Pseudo-incest” feels like the best descriptor. Since they only met as adults, I personally wouldn’t call it incestuous, but this sits in a weird in-between area that rubs up against all those taboos.

Because of those taboos, this is something you’ll probably want to be very careful in how you handle it. Amazon and most other distributors take a dim view of romanticized or eroticized incest/step-incest/pseudo-incest, and while I’m all but certain that’s not what you’re going for, just depicting their relationship could be dicey depending on your approach with stuff like POV.

Personally, I agree with @ps102 in that the age gap actually feels sketchier ethically, mostly because of her age rather than the gap itself. But depending on how you want the reader to feel about these characters, that may not be an issue at all.

 

[Naomasa298]

Interesting thoughts. I had a similar age gap in another story (man is a young, newly graduated doctor, so must be around 25, girl is 19).

Personally, I find it weird that people should have that concern about it, given that relationships like that *do* happen. Maybe I just won't mention their ages.

The problem is twofold. The parents need to be present for a period when they meet, and if the girl is any older, there's no reason why should she would be living at home. Secondly, she needs to have been adopted at an early enough age to be believable (and 8 is already pushing it for adoption). Later adoptions *do* happen, but that's pushing it.

Alternatively, the man could be 20 but then, he would have left home when he was 10.

 

[Luxuria]

So here's the scenario. A man's been away from home for a decade. While he's been away, the family has adopted a girl, who he's never met. She is now 18, he is 26.

He comes home and meets his adopted sister. They fall in love and eventually decide they want to marry.

So how would you, as a reader, feel about that?

Okay, I am writing my response before reading any others. Also know I write a lot of stories with Greek gods and Roman Emperors. So as a reader, I am not bothered by incest all that much. In fact, I get pissy when people go to great lengths to make the Greek Gods unrelated or whatever. Also, when writers ignore historical details or whatever. But honestly, for me it depends on what time era it is. I am not keen on modern day incest in stories. But this leads me to my question:

What time era is this story set? If it's modern (like 1700-now) I would say, yes. This scenario is very much understood as incest. Also, a bit Woody Allen. (Haha.) But if it fits the story, go for it. I honestly might be the only person to say this. No idea though. Anyway, if it's earlier than 1700's, then I don't see anything wrong with this kind of incest (IN THE STORY!!!). The Emperor Nero was legally married to his step-sister Octavia. I really think it depends on the era and sure, some readers are going to count it as incest and others as not. And what if they do? Does it really matter? Or as the writer, does the idea that it may or may not be bother you?

In short, if you like this plot, go for it! (Don't do this at home, kids.)

 

[Naomasa298]

Or as the writer, does the idea that it may or may not be bother you?

My concern is that it bothers the readers too much.

 

[Luxuria]

Though legally, it is incest, biologically, it isn't.

I hadn't though of this. So, my thought still stand, but yes. Depending on the time era, this distincition would change the situation. In modern times, this is a huge no-no and in older times, people were marrying their cousins in some cultures.

 

[Rigor Mortis]

I'm not sure it's what would have occurred to me had you not posed the question. The situation you describe put me more in mind of Wuthering Heights than Game of Thrones. The age difference just about manages the limits, though by a narrow margin. How the characters and the development of their relationship are portrayed will go a long way towards determining reader reception, unless the power discrepancy is a central part of the story and that's maybe a different kind of thing.

I would say though, the by-line of "technically, it's not incest" might not be the best selling point.

 

[Luxuria]

My concern is that it bothers the readers too much.

*Chokes on coffee* Then my books would be way out of their league.

I think it depends on the genre of the story. If it's historical or dark fantasy, it's expected or whatever. I mean, look at Game of Thrones and stuff. But if it's a sci-fi or thriller book, then... maybe not that audience. But who knows. I don't know what type of people you want to read your book.

 

[Luxuria]

I'm not sure it's what would have occurred to me had you not posed the question. The situation you describe put me more in mind of Wuthering Heights than Game of Thrones. The age difference just about manages the limits, though by a narrow margin. How the characters and the development of their relationship are portrayed will go a long way towards determining reader reception, unless the power discrepancy is a central part of the story and that's maybe a different kind of thing.

I would say though, the by-line of "technically, it's not incest" might not be the best selling point.

YES! I couldn't remember the name! Wuthering Heights was it! And yeah, I kinda agree with you on the selling point. Write it as incest or don't.

 

[Naomasa298]

I hadn't though of this. So, my thought still stand, but yes. Depending on the time era, this distincition would change the situation. In modern times, this is a huge no-no and in older times, people were marrying their cousins in some cultures.

It's a modern day story, but with supernatural roots that stretch back centuries.

They need to make their vows in a church ceremony so they can be married in the eyes of God, regardless of what the law says, and also be married where her real parents are buried so they are "there" with her.

(it's not a Christian romance or anything like that, and I'm not Christian myself)

 

[Naomasa298]

*Chokes on coffee* Then my books would be way out of their league.

Maybe it doesn't bother you, but it bothers me. The point of anything I write is to be read, I don't write for catharsis or anything.

 

[Luxuria]

It's a modern day story, but with supernatural roots that stretch back centuries.

They need to make their vows in a church ceremony so they can be married in the eyes of God, regardless of what the law says, and also be married where her real parents are buried so they are "there" with her.

(it's not a Christian romance or anything like that, and I'm not Christian myself)

Um... for modern times, I would call this blatantly incest, but 'legal?' I am not sure about the laws of this kind of situation. Because they are biologically 'unrelated', but it's still modernly strange. What state or providence are they in?

 

[Naomasa298]

I'm not sure it's what would have occurred to me had you not posed the question. The situation you describe put me more in mind of Wuthering Heights than Game of Thrones. The age difference just about manages the limits, though by a narrow margin. How the characters and the development of their relationship are portrayed will go a long way towards determining reader reception, unless the power discrepancy is a central part of the story and that's maybe a different kind of thing.

I would say though, the by-line of "technically, it's not incest" might not be the best selling point.

Lol, it's not something I intend to mention explicitly. But it is something that should feel uncomfortable, up to a point, but not to the point where it's biological incest. I draw the line at that.

 

[Naomasa298]

Um... for modern times, I would call this blatantly incest, but 'legal?' I am not sure about the laws of this kind of situation. Because they are biologically 'unrelated', but it's still modernly strange. What state or providence are they in?

In the UK, and the law does not allow an adopted brother and sister to get married, even if they aren't biologically related. Plus, an adoption cannot be annulled.

 

[Luxuria]

In the UK, and the law does not allow an adopted brother and sister to get married, even if they aren't biologically related.

Um, then it's safe to assume father and adopted daughter can't marry. But, is it possible there is a priest they could pay off?

 

[Naomasa298]

Um, then it's safe to assume father and adopted daughter can't marry. But, is it possible there is a priest they could pay off?

They get married in the same church her biological parents got married in, and where she was baptised. In this case, the vicar knew her (now deceased) biological parents and also baptised her, so has no reason to suspect she's been adopted, so willingly carries out the ceremony.

But she's not getting married to her adoptive father, she's getting married to her adoptive brother.

 

[Luxuria]

They get married in the same church her biological parents got married in, and where she was baptised. In this case, the vicar knew her (now deceased) biological parents and also baptised her, so has no reason to suspect she's been adopted, so willingly carries out the ceremony.

But she's not getting married to her adoptive father, she's getting married to her adoptive brother.

Okay, cool. I am not sure how a Christian Church works, but it's possible the preist would look up any possible known relations in the baptism records.
Oops. I am sorry! I got confused because of the age gap. Honestly though, I have heard Dear Prudence horror stories about this scenario.

Help! I Married My Stepbrother.

Emily Yoffe, aka Dear Prudence, is online weekly to chat live with readers. An edited transcript of the chat is below. (Sign up below to get Dear...

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Might work for inspiration of how this might 'accidentally' happen. (Even though in the story it's intentional.)

 

[defaux]

It reminds me of that scenario where a couple get together only to find out at the end that they were long-lost siblings, separated at birth. I don't recall the specific example I'm thinking of, but I'm sure it's been done a number of times.

It would feel ichy, yes. But that didn't stop me reading Song of Ice and Fire. If that's the feeling you're going for.