It Began in a Tavern (OOC Thread) (Part 2)

I was wondering about that myself. How about if I change it to "ambitious royals"
I'm assuming the destruction happened after Melina took reign. She is the only living royal because she, you know, murdered everyone else. Ambitious royal makes more sense.

This would also mean that in the end, Melina killed the one she was to marry. I'm sure she and Silas had an interesting conversation before she killed them all. That would be a killer flashback scene. By that point, SIlas would presumably have reached better heights than to still harbor feelings for Melina. I imagine he would see her for who she really is by that point.
 
We're making such good progress heading into the climax, this is very thrilling
 
@ps102 @IgnitedxSoul

Here are the revised character profiles for Silas and Ben - any feedback before I post them?

Name: Brother Silas

Sex: Male

Social Class: Silas is the ghost of a Poet-monk

Age in human years (must be 18): 30 at the time of his death, twenty years ago

A brief description of appearance: (no pictures, please.)

Silas is white-haired, and exudes serenity. He wears flowing robes that are the colours of the rainbow. (All other ghost-monks wear brown.)

Background:

Silas began life as Simon Cromwell, a prince from Cliffcross. He was slated to be married to Melina (who was 14 at the time, 26 years before our story). Melina rejected him. Taking the failure to heart, he renounced his royal title and took up life in Kodama Abbey as a monk named Brother Silas. Within six years, he became the Abbot (head monk) there. Twenty years before our main story, he and all other monks were killed, and consigned to the spiritual world, and the abbey quaked into ruins.

Brother Silas is the leader of the Ghosts of Kodama Abbey, the ghosts of the thousand monks destroyed by the Royals twenty years earlier. The ghosts are awakened in the presence of the High Mage Hemios and the High Scientist Barnabas, while a Royal - Arthur - plays the violin, as it was ordained in the Scriptures. These ghosts have an important role to play in the final battle of good and evil. They contain the light of goodness.



Name:
Ben

Sex: Male

Social Class: Ben is the ghost of a Poet-monk

Age in human years (must be 18): 25 at the time of his death, twenty years ago

A brief description of appearance: (no pictures, please.)

Ben is attractive and tall, with a wild mane of long, dark hair, and alert eyes that are always observing. He tends to wear a thoughtful expression, as well as the conventional brown robes of the monks of Kodama Abbey. His movements are fluid and graceful, befitting his ghost status.

Background:

Ben (at aged 19) entered Kodama Abbey at the same time as Silas, and the two of them bonded like brothers. Like Silas, he is devoted to the teachings of their patrons, the gods Aether and Chronos. Ben is the key to Katara and Ravenna retrieving two fragments of the Celestial Gear – the orange fragment representing Aether, the god of air, and the yellow fragment representing Chronos, the god of time.
 
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We're live!
 
You write very well as always!

I'm a bit concerned that this post might interfere with any plans Louanne might have with her characters though. I reckon she had made specific plans for Katara and Ravenna's destiny to collect the gears. I don't know her plans of course but I always felt that it was thematically important for non-mages to gather the gear. The story is about equality and we do want to show that non-mages can handle themselves. It's anti-thematic (is that a word?) if they require the help of mages.

Again, these are Louanne's characters, so I might be totally wrong with these concerns. If she has no problems with it, then I don't either.
 
We're live!

Great post - but I'm not sure about making it appear that Silas is not up to the task - that he is distracted by mortal concerns.

I think it is more likely that Silas and Ben are working together in partnership
 
I reckon she had made specific plans for Katara and Ravenna's destiny to collect the gears.

I did see them going off on their own, with only Ben to guide them.

@IgnitedxSoul - Sorry, I don't think Araspeth and Hemios should join them

I'm not sure why Katara would suddenly trust Araspeth, too
 
I'll let you two work out an edit. The easiest way is to probably have Ben, Katara and Ravenna flat out decline out of distrust. Hemios did trap Katara in ice not that long ago, and Araspeth did attack them in the middle of the night.
 
I'll just delete this post for now then. I've taken up too much time as-is so skip me this round.
Are you sure? It'd be a huge shame to delete it. I don't think there is a need. Just take your time to come up with an edit. There is nothing to stop the story from progressing meanwhile.

I just really don't want your hard work to be deleted. Also, it does establish some really interesting things that we already agreed on.
 
@Louanne Learning I apologize for overstepping into your plans.

I will make that revision. And it sounds like you want me to change it such that they aren't sneaking off / breaking Silas' rules but instead are doing what Silas intends for them? I was initially trying to follow through on previous dialogue since Silas told them all they are going to wait, but I don't mind having Ben contradict that if necessary.
 
I apologize

No need! We're in this together!

I was initially trying to follow through on previous dialogue since Silas told them all they are going to wait, but I don't mind having Ben contradict that if necessary.

Yeah, I didn't expect them to make plans to leave yet. This is the section I hope you don't mind editing -


Araspeth glanced at Ravenna and Katara, then back at Ben. “Now more than ever,” she said. “Katara, Ravenna, I am joining you to gather these fragments.”

“You can’t be serious,” Hemios groaned. “I’d much rather be by the fires at camp where its warm.”

Katara stepped forward, no sign of fear in her any more. “I can’t explain why, but I trust you,” she said to Araspeth. “Him, not so much.” She pointed to Hemios.

“See?” Hemios said. “You don’t want me.”

“No, you don’t get to take the coward’s route and sit around playing house like Barnabas,” Araspeth said. “Your magic will prove useful. You’re coming with us.”

Dejected, Hemios sighed. “So where, exactly, are we going?”

I won't tell you exactly what to change it to, maybe you can think of a new twist, that results in Katara and Ravenna realizing they have to do this with only the help of Ben
 
I'd love to join this if it's open (not too immersed in all the details). Don't really know what it's about, either, but I am certainly eager to learn. If it is fantasy in any form, I would love to use my brand new DND character as inspiration or just plaster him into here. :)
 
I'd love to join this if it's open (not too immersed in all the details). Don't really know what it's about, either, but I am certainly eager to learn. If it is fantasy in any form, I would love to use my brand new DND character as inspiration or just plaster him into here. :)
Technically speaking, it is open. However, there is 70k worth of words written already, and there is quite a bit to learn in order to be able to write for this, so I'm not really sure it's a good idea. There is a specific direction the story is heading towards that we all know because we've basically been working on it from the very beginning.

If you want to join a roleplay, consider @Louanne Learning's Jade Empire. It's steampunk but it does have some fantasy elements, and it's really, really good. It's also much newer than this so there is a lot less to catch up on. I read the entire thing in an afternoon back in December, and I had a blast!

If you're still interested in this, send me a PM (I'm the GM) and we can discuss you potentially joining. I don't want to pollute this thread with that since it's reserved for story discussion.
 
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I'm not really sure it's a good idea.

I have to agree with this. We're heading into the climax now, and the learning curve would be very steep to wade in now.

consider @Louanne Learning's Jade Empire.

@Username: required - we'd love to welcome you to The Jade Empire. We're really proud of the story (it's up to about 32,000 words now) - but still that's a lot less to catch up on.



Please have a read of it, and if you'd like to join, PM me with your ideas about a new character that could intersect with what we have so far.
 
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