Scenes with frantic-paced action

[TrevorD]

This is a horror story, and there's like 4-5 times when the scene devolves into a 'run for your life' (or similar) type action sequence. Maybe there's a fist fight, a character gets mauled by a lion, or a car tumbles down a hill, and the MC is inside. Admittedly, I've never been very good at them, and I'm not sure how effective my writing is. Can anyone suggest anything? Any examples in books where you thought they did this well?

At times, I've tried going to short, 1-4 word sentences - or a word or two on occasion, with nothing but a comma or dash. Rather than use superlatives and massive adjectives, I tend to emphasize the grunting noises people make, the metal bending sounds, breaking glass, etc. to put the reader in the scene.

Sounds easy, but i find it tough. Help!

 

[Homer Potvin]

I moved this thread out of Workshop Discussions and into Plot, which isn't a perfect fit, but the closest I can think of.

As to the question, I'd say a lot depends on POV. I've never been mauled by a lion or chased by a pack of zombies, but I imagine the POV experience of that would be extremely brief with no time for observations or emotions. Fight or flight, run for you life, like you said. To an outside observer witnessing those things, the POV would obviously be different. I'm not sure exactly what would help you write them better, but less would definitely be more. Wish I could be more helpful or come up with some examples. but that's all I've got.

 

[TrevorD]

Oh, thank you, Homer!!

I'm using third-person limited, and the MC is a ten-year-old boy, so there's the added difficulty of filtering it through his lens.

 

[Banespawn]

Some of the things I do when the action ramps up:

1) Shorter sentences. You noted this already, but to be clear, I don't use all short sentences. I still want a good rhythm to the words, and I'll throw in longer sentences here and there to break it up.

2) Shorter paragraphs. We generally focus paragraphs on a single idea. Switching to a new paragraph more often, then, can feel like we are shifting from one idea to the next more quickly, and make the pace feel quicker.

3) Get closer to the character. In 3rd limited, we can vary the narrative distance, but this is a time when you want to get as close as possible. Free Indirect Discourse is a good method for doing this.

4) Sentence fragments. This is in conjunction with the idea of using shorter sentences and getting closer to the character. Sentence fragments can help achieve both, but they have to be used correctly.

5) Cut down on the description. Generally, I try to use a location that I've already described before, so that I don't need to do as much when the action ramps up. If it's a newer location, then I'll have to describe it, but I keep it to a minimum. In any case, I need a little description just for the blocking, so the characters don't feel like they are just floating in space.

6) Cut down on the internalization. In the heat of battle, there isn't much time for thinking. The character is more reading and reacting. After the action is over, the character can take the time to ponder the ramifications.

 

[sierraromeobravo]

I've never been particularly good at these either. BUT, I do know that what both Homer and Banespawn said are true. I've also found that allowing the author the opportunity to fill in the gaps works wonderfully. Give them enough to help them imagine it, but really let their minds find a wayto connect it. My favorite books with action keep it simple. It's not full of, right hand of bad guy struck right ribs of good guy, who then fell down and splashed in a puddle... That long list of this, then, this, then, this.... it gets old REAL quick.

 

[TrevorD]

Awesome, thanks so much, you guys!! As I always say, there's a fine line between nailing it and having it come across as complete cheese. Having a character get mauled by a lion, for example, is rough to pull off.

 

[X Equestris]

@Banespawn covered most of what I would’ve said, so all I’ll add is…

1) Powerful, vivid verbs really enhance action scenes. Slam, smash, crash, shred, ram, shatter, etc. Since economy of words is so critical to maintaining the flow of an action scene anyway, you want to verbs that capture exactly what’s being done so you don’t need to dedicate more words to describing the action.

2) Sensory details are good for grounding readers in action scenes. They don’t need to be extensive or elaborate. Bone crunching when the lion bites your arm, a blade flashing in the moonlight, the stench of burnt hair, the taste and texture of sand when you face plant while running from monster on the beach, whatever makes sense for a given scene.