Torn on direction

[KBWrites]

I am very happy with my first chapter of the rewrite to my erotic love story. It starts off with

Now that you’re here, I hope you know what you’re doing.

“Shush!... Oh great, now my mind is chastising me. Pull it together,” Cassie offered into the universe, her voice tinged with a nervous edge.

She eased her car into park, the soft click of the gear shift echoing in the stillness. Her fingers performed a nervous dance on the steering wheel, the rhythmic sound a stark contrast to her pounding heart, thudding like a drum in her chest. Her gaze drifted to the empty park outside her windows.

I spend the chapter around showing her nervousness at the thought of the meeting she is about to embark on.

Chapter 2 is currently the meetup with the guy she has been seeing for the last (enter time frame). The way the story is currently written, the reader is lead to believe he is a Dom, only to learn in the last chapter that he was only fulfilling one of her fantasies at her request.

In this direction the book kinda flows in a linear fashion.

I have also thought of leaving the first chapter as is, then for the second start it with

X months ago

then show how they met and the build up to the current chapter 2.

This would kill the plot twist at the end, but would be more in line with a love story / romance pacing... so I'm torn on the direction to proceed.

What are your thoughts?

 

[Naomasa298]

I'm a bit confused, is chapter 1 their first meeting?

 

[JT Woody]

Im of the mind set of... still write the chapter because, who knows, in the process of writing it, you may figure out a different approach. Or, you'll have that chapter to use bits and pueces from later on.

I do this a lot and am currently doing it now. I have multiple "threads" written as i explore which direction i want to take the end of my WIP.

Also, think about if you REALLY need that back story so early in the novel. Could it be put in elsewhere to maintain the suspense?

 

[Trish]

There's an entire chapter of nervousness before the meet? I assume there's some back story in that chapter right? Or am I misunderstanding?

I'd proceed with however your mind processes best. If linear will help you get it all down, you can rework/rearrange in the edit phase.

 

[KBWrites]

I'm a bit confused, is chapter 1 their first meeting?

No, but it will be their first time together

 

[KBWrites]

There's an entire chapter of nervousness before the meet? I assume there's some back story in that chapter right? Or am I misunderstanding?

I'd proceed with however your mind processes best. If linear will help you get it all down, you can rework/rearrange in the edit phase.

Nervousness because of what the meet entails. The reader hasn't been let in on the secret yet, but he has agreed to fulfill one of her fantasies, but she's not 100% she wants to go through with it.

 

[Naomasa298]

No, but it will be their first time together

In that case, my gut feeling says no, don't flashback - if chapter 1 is building up anticipation, I, as a reader, might feel a bit cheesed off having to wait for the result. And if it spoils the twist, that would seem to count against it.

But as always, it depends on execution. What does your instinct tell you? Go with that.

As @JT Woody says though, it's probably worth writing either way, you can always change the orders of the chapters around later if you think that will work better.

 

[KBWrites]

In that case, my gut feeling says no, don't flashback - if chapter 1 is building up anticipation, I, as a reader, might feel a bit cheesed off having to wait for the result. And if it spoils the twist, that would seem to count against it.

But as always, it depends on execution. What does your instinct tell you? Go with that.

As @JT Woody says though, it's probably worth writing either way, you can always change the orders of the chapters around later if you think that will work better.

Part of me wants the plot twist at the end. While this is a stand alone novel, it won't be the last with the characters. The series is them fulfilling each others fantasies and making them a reality.

Ultimately, erotica is a stepping stone. I want to end up in romance so I can achieve greater reach.

 

[big soft moose]

Soft clicks don’t echo and how is a rhythmic sound a contrast to a heart beat which is also rhythmic

Also you’ve got redundancies like “ the empty park outside her windows”. The empty park isn’t going to be inside her windows is it?

And offered into the universe is a lot of words for “said”

It’s somewhat overwritten, If it’s all like this it will put the reader off well before they get to the meat of the meeting in chapter two

My suggestion would be to cut it entirely and start with them meeting .. you can show her nerves actually in that interaction