Trying to come up with the title to a humorous fantasy academic paper. Which of these is better / any other suggestions?

aside_dish

aside_dish

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Humorous story where the MC is an executioner/decapitatorial sciences professor who takes his job way too seriously.In my story, he's working on his greatest work yet: a treatise on contemporary wooden block design. But I myself am ilnot very intelligent, so I have difficulty coming up with smart-sounding titles. So far I have the following two, and was curious to see which you preferred:

On the Geometry of Mercy: An Analytical Framework for the Design and Optimization of Cervical Support Structures in Ritual Decapitation

On the Geometry of Mercy: A Multivariate Analysis of Cervical Load Distribution, Material Resonance, and Moral Optimization in Contemporary Block Design
 
aside_dish said:
On the Geometry of Mercy: An Analytical Framework for the Design and Optimization of Cervical Support Structures in Ritual Decapitation
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I think the first is better. “The Geometry of Mercy” sounds good (and somewhat menacing to me) on its own, but I think it lacks the pompousness you’re aiming for. Many researchers weaponise the obscure and largely Latin-based words of academic English to make themselves sound smarter, and I think you hit the right tone with that in the first title. The second one doesn’t pack the creepy punch like the first one does when it finally gets to “decapitation.”

A useful tip: if you want to increase the tone of over-important academic English, replace words with equivalents with a Latin word source. “Changes in the wind bring cool air,” becomes, “Variances in air circulation result in temperature reductions.”
 
In the spirit of the gag, I would go with #2. It's denser and more unnecessarily descriptive, which is the whole point.
 
Tallyfire said:
I think the first is better. “The Geometry of Mercy” sounds good (and somewhat menacing to me) on its own, but I think it lacks the pompousness you’re aiming for. Many researchers weaponise the obscure and largely Latin-based words of academic English to make themselves sound smarter, and I think you hit the right tone with that in the first title. The second one doesn’t pack the creepy punch like the first one does when it finally gets to “decapitation.”

A useful tip: if you want to increase the tone of over-important academic English, replace words with equivalents with a Latin word source. “Changes in the wind bring cool air,” becomes, “Variances in air circulation result in temperature reductions.”
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Appreciate the feedback, thanks! Guess I never realized how much of a difference using Latin words makes!
 
aside_dish said:
Appreciate the feedback, thanks! Guess I never realized how much of a difference using Latin words makes!
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It’s amazing how different your voice in writing is depending on where you source your words from in English. Words with Germanic/Anglo-Saxon origins make for less formal language, French origins a bit more formal, and those with Latin origins sound quite formal and technical. I found a nice example once:

Kingly help was given. (Anglo-Saxon)
Royal aid was presented. (French)
Regal assistance was provided. (Latin)

I often try to de-Latinise my language, so it’s funny to imagine doing the reverse instead.
 
Homer Potvin said:
In the spirit of the gag, I would go with #2. It's denser and more unnecessarily descriptive, which is the whole point.
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Good point. I'm still leaning toward #1, but I wonder if I could somehow mix the two. Want it to sound real, and pompous, and super academic.
 
aside_dish said:
I wonder if I could somehow mix the two. Want it to sound real, and pompous, and super academic.
Click to expand...

On the Geometry of Mercy: A Multivariate Analytical Framework for the Design and Optimization of Cervical Load Distribution and Support Structures in Ritual Decapitation, Material Resonance, and Moral Optimization in Contemporary Block Design
 
aside_dish said:
Good point. I'm still leaning toward #1, but I wonder if I could somehow mix the two. Want it to sound real, and pompous, and super academic.
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So if this is meant to be his life’s work, I’d lean towards “analytical framework.” That suggests he’s establishing a heavy-duty method that others will base future work on. “Multivariate analysis” would more likely be an in-depth analysis of existing data - not as exciting. I quite like “moral optimisation” from the second title, though. This would be my edit:

On the Geometry of Mercy: An Analytical Framework for Cervical Load Distribution, Block Resonance and Moral Optimization in Ritual Decapitation.

I still like the original #1. I read a lot of academic papers for work and I wouldn’t have looked twice at that one (in an academic sense, anyway).
 
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