When I was a child, I thought . . .

JT Woody said:
when i was a kid, i didnt believe in santa clause... but i didnt disbelieve either.
I just knew that, when my mom revealed he wasnt real (like the Tooth Fairy), i wasnt surprised. i just said "ok" and went on with my life, while my brother freaked out and developed trust issues-- "what else are they lying to us about?" "how could they just let us believe this!" "they were probably laughing at us the whole time and we were too stupid to know!"
like... chill bro. its not that serious.

also, when i was a kid, i believed that Borrowers lived under my rug and was afraid to walk on the hallway runner because i was afraid i'd crush them
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Run, Arrietty, run!
 
Dogberry's Watch said:
The phrase isn't actually "we'll drive off that bridge when we get to it."

I was in my thirties before I learned it's "we'll cross that bridge when we get to it."

Thanks, Dad, for helping me give my friends small heart palpitations.
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I picked up "We'll jump off that bridge when we get to it" from a guy at college. I still find myself saying it, even when I should not.
 
deweyfisher said:
My kindergarten teacher told us that turning the light switch on and off in rapid succession would cause a fire. Also the good old 'leaving the overhead light on in the car is illegal'
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Everyone knows that turning your light switch on and off five times prevents the world from ending...
 
When I was a kid and it was really cold in winter I fully believed that if everyone opened the window the world would get warm again
 
I thought my dolls came to life when I went to sleep. Also, I believed if I didn't treat them well that they'd make me regret it.

I believed I could become a real pirate of the high seas.

And also, I thought werewolves and vampires were real. At one point in my childhood I hoped to become one, didn't much care which until I got a wee bit older and gothy.

I believed I would live forever.
 
When i was very little we lived in the countryside, i thought foxes were about the size of wolves and was frightened that dad used to walk the dog in the woods in case they got eaten

wheni was a little older our cub scout leader had primer patches down the side of his car, he told us he'd driven through the local RAF firing range and they were bullet holes, i believed him for about a day until i realise there wasn't a road through the firing range
 
When i was a child, i thought the song/nursery rhyme "Don Gato" was sad and to this day, i wonder why they had us sing this in 2nd grade music class
 
Up into my early twenties I literally thought God would strike me with blindness if I saw a naked woman. Seriously. The cult did not allow any external media or 'worldly' influence, and everything we did and thought was controlled. We were even told what questions to ask.

Imagine my surprise and the experiences when I finally escaped. Unfortunately even now, many years later some negative programming still lingers.
 
...Santa Claus was real. I used to love the whole myth surrounding him and the elves. The robin redbreast. The snow. Snowmen. Snow falling. The brightly decorated Christmas tree. Christmas films. The mentions of Christmas in children's adverts featuring games and toys. The programmes alluding to Christmas. The presents on Christmas morning. The roast turkey. Trifle for dessert. Then later we'd go outside with our toys and bikes and stuff and show them off to everybody. In fact, I loved all of it. It was truly magical and one of the best traditions ever as it represented peace (despite the emphasis on commercialism.) Back then we had a coal fire, so it made sense he came down the chimney.
 
I didn't grow up with English or Christmas or Santa or any of that stuff. I didn't start learning English until I was about 12 or so. So I don't remember any of that.

When I was 8 years old, I was watching TV one night and someone made a joke about the world ending. The year was 1984. I now realise it was a joke, but it gave me nightmares.

When I was 11 years old, I remember watching the Tiananmen Square Massacre on TV and thinking about those poor people.

But thanks to my grandma, I learned to read and write at a very young age - possibly about 3 or 4, if I recall. One time, I was sleeping over at my gran's (she was living in a shared apartment block), and she was downstairs, chatting with the neighbours, and telling them proudly how well I was doing.

One of the neighbours didn't believe her, and insisted on seeing me read. So, I was bundled out of bed, blinking in the overhead light (this was the early 80s), handed a picture book, and asked to read ... which I did.

So the neighbour said, "That's nothing. He could've been coached." He thrust a newspaper at me and commanded: "Read this!"

I still had no idea what it was about, but I was brought up to be respectful, so I straightened the paper, cleared my throat, and in my best 4-year-old "newsreader voice", I started: "Today in Parliament, the Prime Minister said..."

There was an uproar. The neighbour's face was a picture. And I slept through the rest of the night, and given French toast and vanilla ice-cream in the morning.

Best. Morning. Ever. ;)
 
When I was really young, I learned to speak a language that I later forgot and had a bit of identity crisis. And I thought the characters from the Snoopy cartoon were real.
 
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