Is it weird that I think of myself as my own best friend?

[Link the Writer]

Huh. Is it weird that I think of myself as my own best friend? I mean, obviously I've friends online, but most of them either live on the other side of America, or on the other side of the planet. I don't really have any IRL friends partially because I have social anxiety, and partially because I'm a nerdy bookworm and the vast majority of the people in my city are mainly interested in sports, politics, and the latest gossip. None of which are interesting to me. I'm not interested in being the life of the party, or chilling downtown, etc.

Doesn't help that the people I work with see me as the odd man 'cause I'm the quiet disabled person (who may be on the spectrum) that keeps to himself, minds his business, and focuses on his work, so they mainly just ignore me unless they need me to do something.

Obviously, I shouldn't go around being a dick to others, or be a raging narcissist but to me, being your own best friend is super cool. 'Hey self, wanna go grab a bite at that store you like so much? Hell yeah, self!' 'Hey, self, today's been rough. Got'cha covered, homie. Let's have a beer and play videogames.'

Just feel like as I'm getting older, I'm realizing that sometimes the best friend you're gonna get is yourself, 'cause if anything, you're stuck with yourself and if you can't be nice to yourself, who will?

 

[Madman Starryteller]

Not too weird. Some people are more solitary than others and as long as they don't suffer from it, it should be fine.

I'm a somewhat social guy who is lucky enough to have a few best friends. And I really appreciate having them. I think my mental health would suffer if I did not have anyone around me.

It's a trope that writers are very solitary, stuck in a room writing until their fingers bleed upon the dramatic paper pages.

 

[CatrionaGrace]

Not strange at all to enjoy one's own company. I enjoy mine until I start getting weird on myself, at which point I lose patience with me. Having some outside friends and acquaintances keeps me connected to reality and provides insights that I wouldn't come up with on my own.

Though I've heard people talk about "work families," my experience is the people one works with are coworkers and not family and not friends. Blurring those lines in one's mind can lead to some dismay upon changing a job or retiring only to discover one has disappeared from the work radar as if one never existed. Over almost six decades of jobs, there have been exceptions, but not many. The same thing is true of people one attends classes with. Classmates, however congenial, usually aren't friends, especally the ones who become friendly upon discovering one takes excellent lecture notes. Took me a time or two to figure that out.

 

[Stuart Dren]

Even people around you who seem social might be more solitary than you think. Entertainment has gotten so good that we're not inclined to 3rd places anymore, at least out of boredom.

And for interaction? Quite a few people are invested in parasocial relationships to get that fix, which are commodified and consistent. Those used to be more healthy pastimes, like making a shrine to Brad Pitt with a lock of one's hair as the centerpiece. Now it's watching a streamer play an online FPS and sending them "bits" to ask them if they've listened to a song or watched a certain anime.

So if you're George Thorogood over here, when I drink alone I prefer to be by myself, I don't think you're that far from the status quo if it's any comfort.

Also it can just be hard to find compatible people, especially two that are willing to put in the effort to tolerate each other while not just using one another. That's a chance thing. You can do things to boost the odds, but sometimes there just isn't much out there.

 

[Link the Writer]

@Stuart Dren - Yep, like I live in a Red State where everyone wants to talk about the latest superficial gossip, Jesus, politics, sports, or the latest trends. I could probably fake it, but it wouldn’t be the deep meaningful relationship I’d be wanting.

 

[Stuart Dren]

@Stuart Dren - Yep, like I live in a Red State where everyone wants to talk about the latest superficial gossip, Jesus, politics, sports, or the latest trends. I could probably fake it, but it wouldn’t be the deep meaningful relationship I’d be wanting.

I mean, it can't be everyone. There might be hidden passageways to dens of nerds and artists, marked by Triforce symbols, upside down pentacles, that sort of thing.

 

[CatrionaGrace]

@Stuart Dren - Yep, like I live in a Red State where everyone wants to talk about the latest superficial gossip, Jesus, politics, sports, or the latest trends. I could probably fake it, but it wouldn’t be the deep meaningful relationship I’d be wanting.

My state is about as red as they come... or so I thought until my last visit to the region of my birth. Even the reddest states contain pockets of quiet folks who are tooling along the middle of the road, quietly living their best lives despite the politics that rage around them. I've met those folks in places ranging from museums to arts organizations to walking my dogs along the river. A friend isn't necessarly a person who reflects oneself, like an image in a mirror. One of my dearest friends embraces politics that are alien to my nature, but we avoid the subject and concentrate on the interests we have in common. This is not denial of our differences, it's respect for them.