Parents, how and when do you write?

[Tallyfire]

I have a toddler. So far I've figured out that (1) I just can't write when he's awake or nearby, and (2) it's difficult to fit in much writing time while he sleeps because there's work and household stuff and reading... and because he just doesn't need much sleep. I've got two hours of nap-time in the middle of the day (thank god) and 3x a week I reserve an hour of that for writing only, but that's it so far without neglecting other important things. I realise the toddler years are temporary and eventually things ease up, but I want to make the best of it writing-wise while also enjoying the toddler life.

So - does anyone have any tips?

Here are a few more things I do:
- Keep a book on writing close at hand. I can get through a few pages and underline important parts when I have a spare moment.
- Have shortcuts on my phone to writing projects, so I can quickly add ideas and text snippets to work on later.
- Plan out what I want to write in advance for the week so I don't have to spend time figuring out what to do when I get to writing, then stick to that 50% of the time.

 

[big soft moose]

I don’t have kids but I have a difficult and stressful job ,by and large I do my writing from 10pm to 2am most days

Like anything else it depends how much you want it and how important it is to you, I’m an evening person but others get up an hour early and do it while the household is asleep,

 

[Tallyfire]

Like anything else it depends how much you want it and how important it is to you, I’m an evening person but others get up an hour early and do it while the household is asleep,

Yeah, I already know that someday I’m going to be that person up at 5am writing once that midday nap disappears. Definitely a morning person.

 

[defaux]

does anyone have any tips?

As someone else trying to fit writing in around life, here is what I find helpful.

A lot of the writing process happens in my head, figuring out what characters need to do or say. Think about these elements while doing other mundane tasks, so that when you sit down to put words on the page, you know already what is going to come out (or at least you aren't just sitting there thinking, damn, what's next)

Taking notes as you think of them, so ideas are not lost, as you have intimated, also helps keep you on track.

Be satisfied with what output you can manage. Don't feel bad that you can't deliver 100,000 words a month like a full time author. If I get 1000 words in a week, with the time I have available, that is good.

As I mentioned in another post, just get words on the page. Don't worry about how many, but if you can do it every day, or every session, you should feel accomplished.

 

[JT Woody]

I dont have kids, but when I interviewed a bestselling historical romance author, I did ask her how she juggled a family and writing.
She said that she worked around her family's schedule. She'd either wake up really early before her kids needed to be up for school, or late in the evening after everyone went to bed. She says, sometimes she'd be exhausted, but it was the only way to make it work. She says, when her kids got older, they were more respectful of her time as a writer.
(now, though, she doesnt have that problem. her kids are adults and her husband has passed away.)

 

[Tallyfire]

Be satisfied with what output you can manage. Don't feel bad that you can't deliver 100,000 words a month like a full time author. If I get 1000 words in a week, with the time I have available, that is good.

I try to keep this mindset. To be honest, I feel like I'm writing more than I was pre-kid. Having time and hobbies so constrained really made me zero in on what's important and what I want to (need to) do with any spare time.

She says, when her kids got older, they were more respectful of her time as a writer.

Thanks for this! That's what I was hoping to hear. I dream of times when we can all quietly be absorbed in our hobbies for 30 minutes at a time...

 

[Rigor Mortis]

I remember reading about Raymond Carver sitting in his car outside the house so he could get some peace to write. He also kept focus on shorts, I think for that same reason as well as maintaining a steady income from magazines to boost family finances.

The article didn't record his wife's view of the practice that left her dealing with their kids on her own.

 

[Homer Potvin]

The article didn't record his wife's view of the practice that left her dealing with their kids on her own.

Yeah, they rarely do. Across any subject.

I'd be screwed if I had kids. The plants are tough enough and the dog is a borderline endgame event.

 

[Tallyfire]

The article didn't record his wife's view of the practice that left her dealing with their kids on her own.

Unsurprisingly, yes. I'm reading a book called Daily Rituals: Women at Work right now. It follows on from the first book Daily Rituals about various famous artists, and in the introduction to Woman at Work the author himself basically says, "so I mostly forgot about women in the first book... here they are." This second part is quite an interesting read. Historically, woman have needed rather extreme circumstances or habits in order to seriously pursue artistic careers. What's notable is that not that many of them named in the book had kids.