Procrastination...

[Woof]

Is it just me? I have drowned in this concept for years when trying to tell my stories. I have been 'lazy', 'stupid', 'uncommitted', 'flaky' and all sorts of very unkind things before I came to realise that it was more than that. I definitely do procrastinate sometimes but, unpicking it slowly over the years, I've also found trauma-related avoidance, undiagnosed neurodivergence, a deep deficit of positivity and encouragement in my life and low self esteem all vying to put the brakes on. I have spent a lot of time trying to understand that so I can stop it but I'm coming to the understanding that it's never going to go away and my time would probably be better spent now trying to accept it and keep writing in spite of, or with, it all. So, I guess I'm curious about what other people's experiences are? Is there even such a thing as 'average' procrastination? If you recognise any of what I've said, or not, do you have any tools or workarounds that help you? I'll considering anything: technical, esoteric, physical, conceptual.

 

[Naomasa298]

I'll answer this tomorrow.

Seriously though - plan and plot. Know what you want to tell, and how you're going to tell it. Then, as long as you've internalised your style, the writing part becomes automatic. You won't get stuck wondering what the hell you're going to write next.

 

[Rig Haben]

This has always been a problem for me. It's in part because I take on so many different projects, that I can't hope to make much headway on them all. Right now, I have Word open and I want to write, yet here I am on the forum... not writing. I also have a dozen boxes of photos I need to scan, and even more that have been scanned, but need to be edited/cropped/touched up. It's just so much easier to do nothing.

The only thing that's ever helped is turning my brain off, and just forcing myself to pick a project and start. I can subconsciously give so many reasons to push off what I need to do, but if I override that through sheer brute force and break through the initial few minutes, then I tend to get some progress under my belt.

Long story short, you're far from alone.

 

[Woof]

I'll answer this tomorrow.

Yeah yeah, I know I set myself up for that one

I've never been able to understand what it means to plan and plot. I know that probably sounds weird as it clearly works for you (yay) but I can read theory on it, get it, then step away and it just turns to dust. I've always been a bit like that: couldn't study and learn at school but could cram past papers for a day before the exam and ace them on 'patterns'. Still left knowing nothing. Do you have any favourite resources that helped you when you began? I do remember the rudderlessness of just writing and someone somewhere telling me about somebody prominent saying to stop writing before you're done and just leave notes on what happens next so you've got somewhere to pick up from. I recall having some success with that... it's kind of like planning in my ricochet brain

 

[Woof]

Long story short, you're far from alone.

I mean, that's good to know for me but I wouldn't wish this level of frustration on anyone

What you've said reminds me of deadline cramming or working when I was a student. I would shut off everything else, load up with snacks and put some music on so nothing else could distract me. Of course, this was pre smartphones and easy internet. I had some success kind of mimicking it by going on retreat when I was writing regularly before, about 10 years ago now. I've had such a big gap in active learning/application but this is really helping with remembering as well what worked/didn't then.

It sounds like you really get it though. Getting past that stall is brutal. It's not just 'won't' it's feeling like I absolutely can't and it's almost painful pushing through.

 

[Naomasa298]

Do you have any favourite resources that helped you when you began?

Nope. I used to entirely pants stories. Then, I just sort of got into the habit of thinking "how is this story going to go and how is it going to end" before I put fingers to keyboard.

I can still get stuck, but usually, if I've plotted properly, I can just concentrate on the writing instead of thinking about what happens next.

 

[Trish]

My advice will likely be unhelpful, but I'll try anyway lol. I have a very hard time with procrastination when I am overwhelmed. Not overwhelmed with writing, but overwhelmed in general. If I am excessively stressed, lack of sleep, no sunlight, etc. I simply do not function well. So the first thing I do is focus on those things. If my house is trashed, there's laundry to be done, dishes in the sink, etc. this also clutters my mind and causes what I call productive guilt. I feel guilty if I do what I want to do (write) when the things I need to do (clean) aren't done. So the next thing I do is those. I don't want to do them. I hate doing them honestly, but I can tell you exactly how long it takes for me to fold a load of laundry and exactly how long it takes to empty and load the dishwasher, sweep the kitchen, etc. The reason for that is when I don't want to do them because I'm tired, bored, just don't wanna - I tell myself "come on. It's 4 minutes. Get off your ass," and that usually works perfectly well.

As far as the actual writing, I have difficulty with plotting as well. I'm much more of a pantser who likes to get it all down and then fix whatever needs to be fixed on the edits. I'm trying something new and attempting to plot out my next project, magic system, characters, etc. and it's - not going well. Literally every time I sit down to work on it and I read through what I have I change a bunch of stuff and end up not much further along than when I started. I'm seriously about to go back to my roots and pants this sucker just to get it out of my head. I respect the hell out of plotters, and I wish there was a magic way for them to impart their magical ability to me because I can not, for the life of me, tell you a character's likes and dislikes, temperament, etc. until I'm in the story with them. I have no idea why or how to fix that.

You mentioned trauma-related avoidance and I don't know what exactly you mean by that (and I don't need to of course) but for me, the only way that my personal trauma holds me up these days is in the physical sense. Nerve damage makes it difficult to type at times and I have extensive damage to both sides of my brain from repeated traumatic brain injuries. This sometimes makes it so that I can't find words, even simple ones, or that I use a word completely out of context because in the moment my brain thinks "there" and "theory" are close enough (just as an example). That said, there was a time where I could not write certain things because they brought up other things that caused an emotional response incompatible with writing coherently. I got through that by forcing myself to write those things anyway, incoherent or not, though I really can't recommend that approach since I'm not a therapist or doctor and have no idea what the potential repercussions of that could be for you.

 

[Woof]

My advice will likely be unhelpful, but I'll try anyway lol.

Ah now, none of that please! The effort to reply and share your experience is always appreciated and whether it resonates with me or not, it will always connect with someone. That's the beauty of problem-solving openly.

I have a very hard time with procrastination when I am overwhelmed. Not overwhelmed with writing, but overwhelmed in general.

Oh my word I understand that! I'm trying to come to terms with living in a filthy, messy house though, unfortunately, until I can move to something I can manage, but I do tend to get really productive in my own way though when I have something more important to avoid. It's normally something negative like needing to go to the doctors or deal with benefits where I'm anticipating getting push back to my needs and I suddenly find I'm getting through every other bit of admin I'd previously been delaying. 'Productive guilt' for sure. I take your point about self care too. It makes sense. Unfortunately it's another thing I have limited control over. Sleep especially... my current WiP I'm trying to find a place of acceptance of my 'new normal' but it's a glacially slow process, as you must know.

I respect the hell out of plotters, and I wish there was a magic way for them to impart their magical ability to me because I can not, for the life of me, tell you a character's likes and dislikes, temperament, etc. until I'm in the story with them. I have no idea why or how to fix that.

Yeah me too. It does not compute for me. I used to take characters out for a spin in another world or setting, just for a few hundred words, to get an idea of what they were like if I wasn't getting what I needed from them in their own/main story. Like writing a contemporary blind date flash fiction for a character from a sci-fi story just to get a better idea of what they're like when uncomfortable.

You mentioned trauma-related avoidance and I don't know what exactly you mean by that (and I don't need to of course) but for me, the only way that my personal trauma holds me up these days is in the physical sense...

I can sympathise with the neurological difficulties. I have 'brain fog' which feels like such a cutesy description of a devastating symptom which manifests in a similar way to what you are describing but changes severity in correlation with fatigue levels. That fatigue also affects whole body movement and breathing, eating etc as well so, again, similar symptoms I think if not the same cause. I think you're right though about working through it in a more accepting/forgiving way with my/yourself, whether it's mental or physical. The avoidance I mention (which I'm fine to talk about/explain) is related to childhood trauma where it was dangerous to speak/move/act in any way that was not in line with my messed up family and community. It meant I pretty much had to delete my whole self to achieve some semblance of safety and I still struggle to speak or act now if it's something they would have harmed me for. At its best it means I try harder to become a good writer because that was and is never for them and is normally a neutral way to express myself. At its worst though I freeze and completely shut down trying to communicate in any way. It's a bit easier now I know what it is and that it's not normal but I've a lot of work to do on that one. I've been having some luck with narrating my days to myself to feel more positive about my actions and interactions, which is a very recent thing, just to drown out the internalised harshness. It's tough. I guess what I'm trying to explore here is what of perceived procrastination is me and my experience and what is just a very human or common part of writing and creative process... though if the solution to every facet is to keep pushing through then it may not matter!

 

[Trish]

I do tend to get really productive in my own way though when I have something more important to avoid.

Haha... this I understand too well.

I'm trying to find a place of acceptance of my 'new normal' but it's a glacially slow process, as you must know.

Yes, I do. It's a very gradual and exceedingly frustrating thing.

I have 'brain fog' which feels like such a cutesy description of a devastating symptom which manifests in a similar way to what you are describing but changes severity in correlation with fatigue levels. That fatigue also affects whole body movement and breathing, eating etc as well so, again, similar symptoms I think if not the same cause

I do also have a kind of brain fog, but that is more related to the intractable epilepsy I also have as a result of the TBI's. It's much better than it used to be, but that is mostly because I got off of one specific medication that was making it all much worse, including my seizures

I think you're right though about working through it in a more accepting/forgiving way with my/yourself, whether it's mental or physical.

You can only do the best you can and that changes day by day. I had to learn to treat myself the way I would treat a friend or loved one if our roles were reversed. Turns out I'm much more understanding of others' limitations and struggles than I am of my own.

. It meant I pretty much had to delete my whole self to achieve some semblance of safety and I still struggle to speak or act now if it's something they would have harmed me for.

I'm so very sorry to hear that. There's a book that really resonated with me and that you might find helpful. What My Bones Know by Stephanie Foo (she's a journalist with cptsd). It's just an excellent read for people like us. Anyone really. Some of what she's gone through may not be helpful to you specifically, but she's funny and real, and I really can't say enough good things about this book.

I've been having some luck with narrating my days to myself to feel more positive about my actions and interactions, which is a very recent thing, just to drown out the internalised harshness. It's tough

Tough, yes, but sounds like progress! Any progress is good, no matter how small it seems.

I'm trying to explore here is what of perceived procrastination is me and my experience and what is just a very human or common part of writing and creative process

I think it is a common and very human part of everyone. I don't know anyone who doesn't procrastinate for various reasons, it's only the way they do it and why that differs.

 

[buttercream]

Procrastination is the only thing I'm good at. It's at its worst when I'm especially tired, which has been very frequent lately. Sometimes I'm good at getting work done now so I can rest later, but not as often as I should be. It's just so hard to resist not-doing-things when it's so much easier to not-do-things than to do-things.

I can't say plotting helps much for me. I'm not gonna say it doesn't help at all, because it does help a lot, but I've found myself procrastinating writing when I already know what's coming next. But I also can procrastinate writing when I'm stuck and don't know what to do next.

I have to force my way past it. I won't do it if I don't think I can physically manage writing that day or if I know I need a break, but I'll fight against the lazy monster no matter what if it's something I have to do but just don't want to.

Setting deadlines helps. It's not always as broad as "by this day". Sometimes I'll tell myself to have something done by a certain time. The work will still get done even if I wait last minute to do it.

 

[Night Herald]

Is it just me? I have drowned in this concept for years when trying to tell my stories. I have been 'lazy', 'stupid', 'uncommitted', 'flaky' and all sorts of very unkind things before I came to realise that it was more than that. I definitely do procrastinate sometimes but, unpicking it slowly over the years, I've also found trauma-related avoidance, undiagnosed neurodivergence, a deep deficit of positivity and encouragement in my life and low self esteem all vying to put the brakes on. I have spent a lot of time trying to understand that so I can stop it but I'm coming to the understanding that it's never going to go away and my time would probably be better spent now trying to accept it and keep writing in spite of, or with, it all. So, I guess I'm curious about what other people's experiences are? Is there even such a thing as 'average' procrastination? If you recognise any of what I've said, or not, do you have any tools or workarounds that help you? I'll considering anything: technical, esoteric, physical, conceptual.

Hey, man. I don't much relate to your struggles specifically, but I do relate to struggling. I've had my own battles with procrastination and whatever. I have some traumas that hinder my storytelling, but I think I've largely overcome those. Upon investigation, I've come to conclude that my own procrastination stems from two things: an overabundance of other things to focus on, or lack of energy.

They're quite closely related, so hear me out. In certain periods of my life I've been giving way too much out there, like paying supreme attention to any little whim of family and friends; that stuff drains you. On the other hand, if you grow too insular, you spend all your energy managing that feeling of isolation and loneliness. Not very useful, I know, I'm just establishing a scene.

A couple of things really helped me in my writing journey: establishing close relationships with other writers, and meditation. Having another writer to talk to intimately is gold, it's absolutely peak. On the other end, meditation helps me calm my overactive mind and make space for stories to flourish. If you can do both, great! If you don't have another writer handy, at least meditate. It's invaluable. It teaches you to relax and just let things come. I do some of my best writing after a good meditation session.

Also, just be kind to yourself and accept that procrastination, distraction, whatever, they just happen. Don't try to force anything. Just try to be receptive to those times when you're ready to write.

 

[Woof]

Haha... this I understand too well.

Yes, I do. It's a very gradual and exceedingly frustrating thing.

I do also have a kind of brain fog, but that is more related to the intractable epilepsy I also have as a result of the TBI's. It's much better than it used to be, but that is mostly because I got off of one specific medication that was making it all much worse, including my seizures

You can only do the best you can and that changes day by day. I had to learn to treat myself the way I would treat a friend or loved one if our roles were reversed. Turns out I'm much more understanding of others' limitations and struggles than I am of my own.

I'm so very sorry to hear that. There's a book that really resonated with me and that you might find helpful. What My Bones Know by Stephanie Foo (she's a journalist with cptsd). It's just an excellent read for people like us. Anyone really. Some of what she's gone through may not be helpful to you specifically, but she's funny and real, and I really can't say enough good things about this book.

Tough, yes, but sounds like progress! Any progress is good, no matter how small it seems.

I think it is a common and very human part of everyone. I don't know anyone who doesn't procrastinate for various reasons, it's only the way they do it and why that differs.

Ah I sympathise. When the brain starts to scramble signals nothing is too small to mess with. I spent far too much of my day today just trying to get my words back. I was stuck for ages trying to remember the term 'literary fiction' and all I could get is 'literature'. So close and it took me far too long. I spend a lot of time just staring into space as well trying to remember where and when I am, things slip. It's so frustrating.

I really appreciate your thoughtful and considered responses. It helps me contextualise things. I always understand things better in the framework of conversation and other people's stories... which makes this a good place to be!

I'll take that recommendation seriously and look it up. I felt the same about Sunbathing in the Rain by Gwyneth Lewis when I read it and would heartily recommend it for anyone suffering with depression related to family trauma. She is a renowned poet and it made the subject matter easier to read because she had that experience of making words matter, connect. At the time I was suffering heavily with depression that wasn't mine and reading about her battle with her similar relationship with her mother helped me realise that. I had unwittingly just soaked it all up from my mother and then worn it like my own. It helped get rid of that layer. Similarly, when I read The Farseer Trilogy by Robin Hobb I really identified with what I view as her portrayal of CPTSD in her main character Fitzchivalry. For him, in a fantasy setting, the abuse stunts his magic/nature but also his ability to form relationships and heal even after he is clear of it and it really helped me understand the double bind of the C in CPTSD and how insidious it can be. The wisdom, the healing, comes sideways in pieces from so many sources and hopefully your recommendation is another one

 

[Woof]

Procrastination is the only thing I'm good at.

Ach I definitely sympathise there. All my superpowers are things that I have zero interest in and generally involve meeting other people's needs above my own, which sucks. Which means having to start over building new habits, practising new methods I guess?

Setting deadlines helps. It's not always as broad as "by this day". Sometimes I'll tell myself to have something done by a certain time. The work will still get done even if I wait last minute to do it.

You've reminded me that I had some success with self care rituals by being less rigid about what I had to do. I put things in categories and told myself to pick one from each like: one thing for the house; one thing for the garden; one thing for my health; one thing just for pleasure. Makes it seem more manageable instead of, like you say, X words by Y which can rapidly lead to creating 'failure'. If I can create a similar methodology for writing that could help

 

[Woof]

Hey, man. I don't much relate to your struggles specifically, but I do relate to struggling. I've had my own battles with procrastination and whatever. I have some traumas that hinder my storytelling, but I think I've largely overcome those. Upon investigation, I've come to conclude that my own procrastination stems from two things: an overabundance of other things to focus on, or lack of energy.

They're quite closely related, so hear me out. In certain periods of my life I've been giving way too much out there, like paying supreme attention to any little whim of family and friends; that stuff drains you. On the other hand, if you grow too insular, you spend all your energy managing that feeling of isolation and loneliness. Not very useful, I know, I'm just establishing a scene.

A couple of things really helped me in my writing journey: establishing close relationships with other writers, and meditation. Having another writer to talk to intimately is gold, it's absolutely peak. On the other end, meditation helps me calm my overactive mind and make space for stories to flourish. If you can do both, great! If you don't have another writer handy, at least meditate. It's invaluable. It teaches you to relax and just let things come. I do some of my best writing after a good meditation session.

Also, just be kind to yourself and accept that procrastination, distraction, whatever, they just happen. Don't try to force anything. Just try to be receptive to those times when you're ready to write.

Very sage advice and I do relate. I was totally subsumed to my birth family's needs long into adult life until I cut them all off eventually. It does leave a void of need to do something, help someone that I'm trying to train back on to meeting my own needs, writing being one, but it's a hard habit to break and I keep ending up somewhere adjacent, like housework or animal care.

I had an in-person writing group that I loved and really motivated me to be productive. It's not accessible to me anymore and also not the same but I think you're right about keeping close to other writers to keep focussed. Hopefully I'll get some of that from here.

I definitely need to meditate more. No arguments there

Kindness. Acceptance. Yes... WiP