Share your first three sentences

[Donnie]

Well ... in your post (above) the words "cheap painting of dying flowers hung on the wall of this dirty restaurant, I had" are presented in a light grey font against the forum's white background. They are impossible to read unless I highlight them.

Maybe it's just me? Is this happening to anyone else?

You are right, on light mode it it's hard to read. I'm not sure why. I live on dark mode where it looks fine. Thanks for the catch.

 

[Stuart Dren]

I have just one small suggestion - is it possible to begin Mamma's quote with some small image-generating word(s) instead of "It" - even if it's obscure?

Good point. It will be a challenge, since "it" is still not well understood by Mamma, and so rests more in abstraction. But giving the reader something more tangible can be pretty important in the opening. Hm. Food for thought. Thanks for the input.

 

[Louanne Learning]

But giving the reader something more tangible can be pretty important in the opening.

that's what I was thinking, too