A new smartwatch, a Garmin VivoActiv 5. Not sure exactly why I wanted it . . . . it's a classic case of an analog mind trying to function in the digital world. I find myself getting sore confused, sometimes wanting to throw the thing across the room. So many options and functions sorted into categories that I misunderstand just enough to get lost, and I find myself pushing buttons that lead me down strange and poorly-illuminated rabbitholes, passageways I suspect make perfect sense to my kids and grandkids, and to the smug clerks at Best Buy. The worst episode -- so far -- was when I tried out the "find my phone" function and it worked, causing the phone to scream in misery while I tried, in a burst of rapidly-escalating frustration and swearing, to figure out how to get it to shut off.
Not sure why I talked myself into this purchase. I needed a new watch, having somehow misplaced my grandfather's pocket watch, and I also thought I would like to see the time and temperature in one place (like the old Bell System "time and temperature" number), along with my heart rate. And getting notification of emails and messages and appointment reminders. And having the option of tracking my walks and measuring my steps, and trying to follow numerous workouts. And I suppose it's nice to keep track of my sleep patterns and have an alarm on my wrist. And I wanted to be cool. Except that most people who care about such things have much fancier and costlier ones, and anyway I don't look cool as I stand there slack-jawed trying to figure the damned thing out once again as my short-term memory takes an unscheduled nap.
But, all that said, with each passing hour I find myself coming ever closer to "getting the hang of it." Unless, of course, I suffer a massive burst of apoplexy during the process. Odds are 50-50.
