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[Homer Potvin]

The only thing I recall from Asimov's ocean of words is a naughty limerick. He wrote a whole volume of limericks, but most were pretty lame.

Spoiler: Warning: naughty limerick, but Asimov wrote it, so it's literature, right?

There was a young woman from China
With violin strings across her vagina.
With proper sized cocks,
What was sex became Bach's
Toccata and Fugue in E Minor.

If this is not permissible, frown and I shall remove it with apologies.

I applaud vulgarity in all its forms

 

[CatrionaGrace]

I applaud vulgarity in all its forms

Lecherous Limericks by Isaac Asimov

I thought it was hysterically funny when I was around 21. Now the young lady from China is the only one I recall.

 

[Set2Stun]

Consider my mind blown

 

[Rath Darkblade]

Sigh...

There was a young couple from Florida
Whose passion grew steadily torrider.
They were planning to sin
In a room, in an inn.
Who can wait? So they screwed in the corridor.

Don't expect these to be politically correct, obviously. They were written in 1975. The one above might be one of the better ones, but there are others that are much worse.

And speaking of which, here are two (non-vulgar) ones that I wrote about a certain play ...

This play was a hit in Verona.
I could say so much more, but don't wanna.
But it was a trendsetter
and very much better
than listening to "My Sharona".

Or, alternatively:

This play was a rip-off of "Thisbe";
It was like Pyramus with a frisbee.
But don't tell Hollywood,
or I've no doubt they would
cast some teen to say: "Hey babes, d'ya miss me?"
=============
As an aside: does anyone think I could get those published, even though I don't have a big name?

 

[Set2Stun]

Just finished the interview. It was only 10 minutes. Not sure if that's a good sign or a bad one.

I woke up several hours too early and couldn't get back to sleep as I kept thinking about the interview. Now I'll see if I can grab a quick nap now that it's over with.

 

[JLT]

That doesn't surprise me, given the quality of Asimov's work.

Not sure what you mean there, Homer. A lot of his fiction was pedestrian, but the Foundation series hugely influenced subsequent science fiction. And his non-fiction writing was a model of clarity and insight.

Speaking of dirty limericks, Playboy ran a page of them by Shel Silverstein (I think) back in 1968 or 1969.

I still remember two of them:

There was an old man from 'Stamboul
who soliloquized thus to his tool
"I gave you my health
My youth and my wealth
And now you won't pee, you old fool!"

And there was another one that requires some explaining. First, it referenced a certain racist Alabama politician. Second, the illustration showed Ku Klux Klansmen lining up to vote; protruding from under their robes, there could be seen something strange:

A lonely old farmer named Hollis
Took possums and snakes for his solace
His children had scales
And prehensile tails
And voted for Governor Wallace

 

[CatrionaGrace]

Looks like I created a perfect storm of sharing bad limericks. Not sure whether to apologize or take a bow.

Waiting for my daughter et al to head for town so I can finish my snake article. I can't make my head work today. Maybe perfect silence will help.

 

[Homer Potvin]

Not sure what you mean there, Homer. A lot of his fiction was pedestrian, but the Foundation series hugely influenced subsequent science fiction. And his non-fiction writing was a model of clarity and insight.

I can appreciate that, but I'd rather read the ingredients of my shampoo bottle in Japanese. At least he had some limericks.