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[DLC]

Poetry Prize - First Things

SUBMIT YOUR POETRY

firstthings.com

 

[Rath Darkblade]

I am a Scrabble sicko as well. I'm good enough at it that casuals on a game night will refuse to play. Which kind of sucks. I haven't played in person for a while, mind you. I did use to play on a phone app against the computer (can select an appropriate difficultly to your level of skill to keep it challenging) while on the stationary bike, but I kept getting inundated with ads and didn't want to pay for "premium," so..

Anyway I saw this posted today and thought it was clever:

View attachment 300

Blatant lies.

Here are two I created several years ago (before AI reared its eight-fingered head) ...

 

[Rigor Mortis]

I'm good with that, but I do like my "u" in favour, honour, neighbour, etc etc

When you think about the phonetics of these words, didn't they drop the wrong vowel?

 

[Louanne Learning]

When you think about the phonetics of these words, didn't they drop the wrong vowel?

Yeah, and what's up with homonyms? Did they run out of sounds?

 

[CatrionaGrace]

For several years in the 1980s, I taught ESL as a Literacy vounteer. Whenever a student questioned an idiosyncracy of the language, I smiled, shrugged, and said, "It's English," by way of explanation. Not much else one could do.

 

[Louanne Learning]

Looking forward to a family birthday party today.

 

[Rigor Mortis]

"Yeah, and what's up with homonyms? Did they run out of sounds?"

Their they're deer, twill awl bee grate.

 

[Louanne Learning]

"Pray for the prey, rein in the rain," the bare bear said.

 

[Rigor Mortis]

One of the few bits of Irish I remember from school was:

Ní hé lá na báistí lá na bpáistí, meaning a rainy day is not a day for the kids but pronounced:

Knee hay law na bawshtee law na bawshtee.

So it's not just English.

 

[Louanne Learning]

All students take French here. Beautiful language. I liked it so much, I took it as a first-year University elective.

 

[CatrionaGrace]

A favorite lesson in ESL: the difference between bare arms (no sleeves), bear arms (roar), and bear arms (take up guns).

Spanish is the second language in my family. I can speak it well enough to be understood, but have a hard time understanding in return unless people speak slowly and enunciate carefully.

 

[Louanne Learning]

Whenever I go on vacation, it interrupts my swimming routine and I have not been since returning a week ago. But I registered for the morning swim tomorrow. Got to get back into the routine!

 

[CatrionaGrace]

To swim is better than to sink.

 

[Link the Writer]

Ever wonder why your brain just makes you wake up at midnight for no reason at all?