I think I know what you're talking about. The author starts writing everything in an immediate, as-it-happens state, and it comes off feeling like a diary which somehow trivializes the events. It's that first person perspective that traps you within the MC's senses. You start chronicling everything, filling pages but saying only the obvious. You start to tell how "I did this" and then "I did that" and everything needs to be mentioned. The writing becomes a procedural list. I feel that this comes from watching too much media and seeing everything visually rather than narratively, which has many options, but that's another topic.
The trick is to move in and out of the moment. The actions of the 1st-person MC are the baseline, but you look for opportunities to talk outside of the immediate moment.
It's not unusual for the dialog to be overdone too. Just too much of it told in exacting detail. That doesn't help. I don't know if that's going on with your story, but that's another problem that's pretty common in 1st-person POV. It's a symptom from the same source, which is overdoing the sensory moment. I won't say anything about there here though.
Here's a good counter-example, an opening paragraph that moves.
Now I know some people don't like this book, but I love it (insert insipid heart emoji here, haha). And even if you hate it, you have to appreciate what it's doing right . . . This excerpt is first-person, present tense, and it definitely relies on senses—touch, strangely enough—with the only visuals going to the gun. The characters aren't even described. But notice how many times it jumps out of the immediate moment.
Section 1
Tyler gets me a job as a waiter, after that Tyler's pushing a gun in my mouth and saying, the first step to eternal life is you have to die. For a long time though, Tyler and I were best friends. People are always asking, did I know about Tyler Durden.
Section 2
The barrel of the gun pressed against the back of my throat, Tyler says, "We really won't die."
Section 3
With my tongue I can feel the silencer holes we drilled into the barrel of the gun. Most of the noise a gunshot makes is expanding gases, and there's the tiny sonic boom a bullet makes because it travels so fast. To make a silencer, you just drill holes in the barrel of the gun, a lot of holes. This lets the gas escape and slows the bullet to below the speed of sound.
Section 4
You drill the holes wrong and the gun will blow off your hand.
Section 5
"This isn't really death," Tyler says. "We'll be legend. We won't grow old."
Section 6
I tongue the barrel into my cheek and say, Tyler, you're thinking of vampires.
Section 1: starts in a false present (gets a job as a waiter), jumps forward to the true present (Tyler is pushing a gun in my mouth), and then reminisces about the past (we were best friends). Then it comes back to the present (people are always asking). It's all over the place. That's deliberate. It's a kinetic sense of time.
Section 2: In the present moment. It's calming to be in the present, in it's own strange way, despite the line's content.
Section 3: The MC uses his senses in the present moment (feeling the silencer with his tongue). The narrative then drops out of the moment and even switches to second-person. It talks about the nature of silencers. It's completely outside of the story.
Section 4: Technically, the culmination of Section 3. It's still in 2nd person in an imagined scenario outside of the established scene. It's just separated from Section 3 for drama.
Section 5: Back to the present. Dialog book-ended the jump out of the scene's present. The dialog leads you out and brings you back in.
Section 6: Still in the present. The action is driven through the MC's senses again.
So that's the kind of thing I'm talking about. Don't get trapped inside the MC. You want to be there to make the POV work, but you need to move in and out the time frame. It lets you say much more.
