In the late Victorian and Edwardian eras, the self-appointed royal expert in the field of sex was the eldest son of Queen Victoria, the future King Edward VII, nicknamed 'Bertie'. But even Bertie had his moments of mishap amidst a lifetime of devoted adultery. So devoted was he to his mistresses, in fact, that at his coronation a special place in the Abbey was reserved for them, which a wit referred to as 'The King's Loose Box'. When Bertie died, his long-suffering wife, the charming and beautiful Queen Alexandra, remarked: 'At least now I'll know where he is.'
Bertie and Alexandra had five children together, so they probably felt they carried out their duty of providing for the future of the royal family. After that, Alexandra retreated into a sexless fantasy world with her young family, while Bertie ignored the little blighters and set off in pursuit of everything in skirts. Paris became his second home and les grandes horizontales, as the best courtesans were known, provided him with all the sensuous enjoyment he needed. Prince Albert's halo probably would've melted at some of the sights that Bertie, his son, saw in Paris.
But if Bertie was a bounder, he was also sometimes a blunderer. In 1874, during one 'visit' the the beautiful Princess de Sagan at her home in the castle at Mello outside Paris, Bertie fell foul of the jealousy of one of the Princess's sons. The boy entered his mother's dressing room only to find a man's clothes lying all over the carpet. Enraged at his mother's conduct, he collected all the clothes, took them outside and threw them into the fountain. A few moments later, the Princess's bedroom door opened and a naked Bertie came into the room looking for his clothes! Even in 1874, Bertie was more portly than the average barrel of beer. Trousers were eventually found for him, but they were bursting at the seams and heaving at the waist when he arrived back at his hotel.
However, Bertie was not a snob in bed. He enjoyed the company of princesses, but also courtesans and the wives of courtiers (like Daisy Brooke, the Countess of Warwick and Mrs. Alice Keppel), who gave him the confidence that he always lacked, because of his mother's emotional neglect as a boy. Queen Alexandra understood this and even became friendly with some of them, especially Alice Keppel. When Bertie was dying in 1910, the Queen notified Alice and asked her to sit with the family during the King's final hours.
One of the funniest stories about Bertie concerns his tryst with the cockney prostitute, Rosa Lewis. Bertie and Rosa were once deprived of a trysting-place, so they went for a very long drive in a closed hackney coach. At the end of the ride, Bertie gave the cabbie a shilling. 'What's this bleedin' bob for?' asked the cabbie, who did not recognize the Prince of Wales, and was not pleased.
'It's your fare, my man,' said Bertie, who didn't keep up with the times.
'A bleedin' bob for two hours' drive and ten miles?!' the cabbie yelled.
Luckily, at this moment Rosa leant forward and gave the cabbie two sovereigns (i.e. two gold coins, each worth one pound sterling). This changed his tune. 'I knowed you was a lady as soon as I seen you,' said the driver to Rosa, 'but where d'you pick 'im up.'
The future King of England loved this story and often told it against himself.