Dante Dases
Member
She may not have been a gatekeeper to students, but to parents, outside agencies, and members of the local council she was both gatekeeper and voice of God.
The LAST sentence you wrote today
- Thread starter JT Woody
- Start date
X Equestris
Active Member
She couldn’t save these folk, couldn’t raise the dead, but she could make their deaths matter.
“Get me out.” He hopped on the chair like a restrained, one-legged frog. “Get me out!”
Stuart Dren
Active Member
For all that is holy, he thought, your country bumpkin wisdom had better extend to agricultural infrastructure.
“Good morning,” a pleasant bass voice said next to her ear.
(Whether that's pleasant or creepy is up to you!)
(Whether that's pleasant or creepy is up to you!)
Peekaboo, motherfucker.
I remembered the taste of pizza, and the memory grew fat and complacent.
“Well,” Bliss continued, “the ambassador is no fool.
Technically yesterday, and I only mention it because I almost never use any attribute beside "said" and I don't think I've ever written one any attribute in the mid-sentence double comma style like that. I wanted to see what would happen if I tried it. I haven't died or vomited yet, so that's something. We'll see what happens during the edit when it leaps from the shadows at me.
Technically yesterday, and I only mention it because I almost never use any attribute beside "said" and I don't think I've ever written one any attribute in the mid-sentence double comma style like that. I wanted to see what would happen if I tried it. I haven't died or vomited yet, so that's something. We'll see what happens during the edit when it leaps from the shadows at me.
Stuart Dren
Active Member
'Continued' and 'added' are just as invisible to me. I use both verbs freely in addition to said.
Rebuking, panting, agreeing, or ejaculating, not so much.
"Replied" and "exclaimed" drive me batshit.
"That's incredible!" I replied, exclaiming.
Teasing aside, those two are very old-fashioned. The last fiction novel I remember with 'replied' and 'exclaimed' was written by Agatha Christie.
Imagine a novel where everyone exclaims all the time! It'd be like an Archie comic! With Jughead! And Betty! And Veronica!
Stuart Dren
Active Member
Best is with the adverb:
"Argh, my arm is on fire!" he exclaimed loudly.
"Argh, my arm is on fire!" he exclaimed loudly.
Hmm, I politely disagree. Exclaiming loudly is a tautology, it's impossible to exclaim softly.
Furthermore, if you're using an exclamation mark, it's more or less understood that you're exclaiming, shouting, or at least speaking loudly.
So you don't need to use the word 'exclaim' at all ... or even use any variety of 'said'. Instead, you can introduce action (and internals) by writing, for instance:
"Argh, my arm is on fire!" he waved his arm about. His head ached, his vision swam - but the river was just ahead. He leapt in, causing a small and highly localised cloud of steam. Water! Cool, life-saving, gushing, splashing water!
... and so on.
“My god” she exclaimed softly “ youre an absolute moose”Hmm, I politely disagree. Exclaiming loudly is a tautology, it's impossible to exclaim softly.
“ it’s the fluffy antlers that gave it away right?”
