So allergies is causing my good eye to go red and tear up -- my SBS (short bowel syndrome) is making my bowels declare independence, adding in stomach cramps which never happened before. So yeah, health wise I think I'm doing poorly. 

One of the best things I've learned is if people want to be in your life, they will be. People say things so loud with their actions, and it sounds to me like this person is saying without saying what they feel. Protect your peace. We only get so much time to be here, and if people show they don't want to be in your life, don't keep hurting yourself.
None of that stops the hurt you feel for the loss of someone you consider important to you, so on that point I'm sorry you're going through this. It never feels nice to lose a friend.
So allergies is causing my good eye to go red and tear up -- my SBS (short bowel syndrome) is making my bowels declare independence, adding in stomach cramps which never happened before. So yeah, health wise I think I'm doing poorly.![]()
How do you kick that dopamine habit in these times?
Not really unhappy, but just . . . bored.
I'm the one who, as a teenager and undergraduate, never turned on the TV unless I was actually watching a particular program. When it was over, I turned the set off. When I left college, I didn't even own a TV for the next five or six years, until a client gave me her old one. I rarely watched that and sold it when I went back for grad school. I don't own a TV even now, but oh, have I changed, "thanks" to what I get over the internet! I'm watching YouTube videos all the time, even when I'm not particularly enjoying them, and sometimes I feel I have to have one going on my phone and one on the laptop at the same time. The shorts are the worst. It's like I feel the next one is going to give me the fix I crave, or the next one, or the next one. When I'm not chasing that high, I'm playing online solitaire (no combat or racing games--- too much stress for me), over and over. It's nuts.I hear you. My existential boredom knows no bottom, I feel sometimes. Every day is the same unless something bad happens, which isn't often, fortunately. Trying to quit smoking definitely isn't helping. And working 60 hours a week for the last decade has become so routine that I don't even know what normal is anymore. But I don't have a problem with screens. I've been using them for almost 40 years, so who cares? I didn't even hear the word "screens" used like it's some kind of carcinogen until a few years ago. I use screens to keep from punching people or burning buildings down, so society is actually benefiting there.
That's hard. I guess you have a situation where sharing living expenses is the basis of your relationship and no law says you have to be friends. But her attitude affects you and vice versa . . . Gosh, I hope things get better and she gets over whatever it is. Maybe you can use your writer's imagination to come up with some idea of what her problem is. Or maybe just think of yourself as a character in a story you're writing. A little positive detachment can go a long way.My grumpy roommate. She always seems to be in a bad mood. I have decided to avoid her and keep conversations short and hopefully she gets the message.
shes having issues with her boyfriend and also her boyfriend doesnt like me lol its a lotThat's hard. I guess you have a situation where sharing living expenses is the basis of your relationship and no law says you have to be friends. But her attitude affects you and vice versa . . . Gosh, I hope things get better and she gets over whatever it is. Maybe you can use your writer's imagination to come up with some idea of what her problem is. Or maybe just think of yourself as a character in a story you're writing. A little positive detachment can go a long way.
I had some difficult roomies in college. Have to say the problem was "solved" by their moving out.