NWT Showcase

[Luxuria]

Leonard found himself on the crowded ground floor of a department store wondering when he’d lost affection for the season of good will.

Hello Rigor,
I liked this line. Because I was feeling exactly this when I went to the store the other day. I was standing there, Christmas music playing and decor all around and wondering why I felt sad all of a sudden.

Where he thought the door might be was obscured by a heavy flow inward and he began to doubt the existence of the stairway.

Yeah, this is also relatable. When it's crowed, it's so easy to think you saw an exit or think you imagined one.

“They’re not waving. They’re drowning. Look at them. They’re under water. It’s right there.”

Hahah! I really like this idea. It's very funny to me, because it's true. These figurines are drowned in water, but don't know it. Anyway, I enjoyed reading and thank you for sharing!

 

[CatrionaGrace]

As often in life, you'll find exactly what you're looking for. Having said that, I'm not sure there's a reliable market for trinkets depicting terrible tragedies.

Charlie does go on to tell Leonard (the name of a police officer who appeared in other stories but I'm not sure surname first name works when he's the main character) what has finally broken her.

I thought perhaps we were headed into the world of fantasy/scifi and the folks in the glass bubble had been imprisoned by an evil jinn.

 

[Luxuria]

I thought perhaps we were headed into the world of fantasy/scifi and the folks in the glass bubble had been imprisoned by an evil jinn.

I love this idea.

 

[defaux]

@Rigor Mortis Thank you for sharing. It's beautiful, in a way, like a leafless tree in winter. We see what's there, but also what should be there. You create an immersion here, in the place, but also in the character.

Easy to miss what’s right in front of ya if yer not lookin’ for it

I'm not sure where you're headed with this, but it bears hallmarks of a potential budding romance. I'd love to read more.

 

[Rigor Mortis]

I'm not sure where you're headed with this, but it bears hallmarks of a potential budding romance. I'd love to read more.

Write what you know, they say...

I can bring forward rock solid testimonies to say I've no business writing romance.

The Charlie character is of similar age to the daughter character, so more paternalistic a relationship. Thanks everyone for kind comments and I will have a proper first draft of the story at some stage and will be looking for willing victims readers.

 

[ps102]

Thanks everyone for kind comments and I will have a proper first draft of the story at some stage and will be looking for willing victims readers.

You can always send to me whenever it's ready.

 

[defaux]

Write what you know,

I put this in the same category as "show don't tell". Not strictly incorrect, but oft spewed as wisdom and broadly misunderstood.

Write truth, is how I would put it. That doesn't equate to experience. I've read your words, I'm confident you could write romance if you had a mind to.