NWT Showcase

CatrionaGrace

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Me thinking for poor Homer:

Call the thread November Writing Thing Showcase or just NWT Showcase.

Writers who posted on the Word Counts and Updates thread in November may post 200 - 500 words of work produced in November.

Sharing thoughts about participating in the event is also encouraged.

No critiques of work beyond things like Good job! or Way to go! This is a celebration thread, not a critique thread.
 
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Here is 500 words of my Greek Myth I worked on this November that is currently named Detachment. I edited it down a bit as the whole clip is over 600 words. But nothing I cut was essential. Haha. Anyway, enjoy! So nervous to share, but here it goes!

Wordcount: 517 Words (Slightly edited down to this for posting).

The Story So Far: Set in Ancient Greece, the Greek God Hades lived in darkness and always heard stories about the Light. Now, after a terrible storm that swept through the darkness, he find himself in another world, or so he thinks.


The Light.

It was blinding.

I raised a hand to shield my eyes and tried not to cry as I felt the sea eat away at my skin. In the Light, I heard sound- deep and disgusting that made my own stomach turn. The rain burned as it cascaded down upon my skin, but I did not care. I could see the Light. The Blue. The world that Hestia recalled, many ages ago. Above the sensation of rain and the sound of retching, I heard someone shouting. His voice was warm, youthful and everything I was not. I tried to find the source, but realized I could barely move- I was tangled in rope and slats of bone. He said something else and a moment later, I felt a hand grab my arm and pull. The broken pieces of bone cut into my skin as I was dragged from the wreckage, but I was grateful to be freed. By the time he stopped pulling, my eyes could see more than before. The man who had gripped my arm was young, with rich dark brown hair and eyes as black as storm clouds.

“Don’t move. I need to get the others.”

With those words, he disappeared from my line of sight and I closed my eyes to remember the darkness. When I awoke, the Light had dimmed, becoming many different types of light above me. I moved to sit, only to pause as something… soft was under my hands. I glanced to my right and saw a collection of…something growing from the ground like the pelt of an animal. I paused and I heard someone laugh as if amused. I glanced the other way and saw the youth with brown hair smiling.

“No need to be afraid of the grass,” he said, coming over to explain what ‘grass’ was. Then, the trees, the sky known as the Blue and the Light, known by him as the Sun.

“Where…” I tried to sit up, but realized I could not, now I had no ropes to assist me. “Where am I?”

“Safe, just like mother and I wanted,” he replied, helping me sit upright in the grass. “Hera, Demeter and the others are waiting. Shall we join them? You can hold onto me.”

The two of us slowly walked toward the trees where Demeter and the others were sitting. They were dressed in clothes as brilliantly colored as the Light.

I froze in the middle of the circle and stared at each one of them. I could see their faces and I needed to remember every detail I—

“Please sit,” the young man said, but I ignored him. Demeter’s warm brown eyes drew me in and would not let me go. “I don’t have all day, Hades.”

A pair of hands shoved me down and I found myself sitting next to Hera.

“Greetings, my brothers and sisters.” He began, glancing at all of us as he spoke. “You do not know me, but I am your youngest brother, Zeus. For centuries, you have all been trapped within our father’s stomach.”
 
I have been trying to pick a scene that makes sense out of context, and is also more or less reasonably clean prose.

The story I've been working on is actually the continuation of what I posted to the First Chapter contest

Briefly, the synopsis is, Bella has moved to a new town and is having trouble fitting in at school. Her neighbour, Alex, has become a friend and tries to help.

This scene (around 520 words) kind of represents the thesis of the story.

---

As soon as class is over, I head straight out. I see Lucas with a group of older boys heading for the sports oval, they're all laughing and mucking about. He doesn't look my way.

I'm almost at the end of the street when I hear footsteps behind me.

"Hey, Bella, wait up."

Alex sounds cheerful as he jogs to catch up. I keep my head down and don't slow my pace.

"Hey," he repeats a little breathless when he catches me. "Are you OK—did someone bother you?"

"No. It's nothing."

He walks beside me for a while without saying anything.

"Those girls," he offers eventually, his voice soft. "They aren't very nice."

I speed up, and he doesn't try to match my pace. When I reach the front of our house, I stop. It just doesn't look like home. The banisters on the porch with their fancy floral carvings, the wood-framed windows, the frosted glass panels in the front door. It all reminds me of a doll house. I can't help feeling like the doll no-one wants to play with.

Alex comes up beside me as I study the house.

"It's a nice place, really."

I look at him but he keeps his gaze ahead. Does he mean the house?

Suddenly, he turns with a twinkle in his eye.

"Hey, do you wanna see somewhere cool?"

I hesitate, but his excitement is obvious, and infectious. I nod.

"OK. Follow me."

He leads me down the side of his house, helps me to climb the fence. I let out a tiny squeal as I jump. We're in the forest! We head down a narrow path worn in the undergrowth. The trees are close. The air warm and damp, filled with the sounds of birds. I hear running water to one side.

After a minute the trail opens into a clearing where a large tree has fallen. A gap in the canopy lets in the afternoon light, and a creek runs softly around the log. Dust motes glint in the rays of sun like fairy dust. Alex smiles at my wide eyes as I move reverently into the space.

"My dad used to bring us here."

His voice has a bitter edge.

"Alex," I hesitate, unsure if I should ask the question. "What happened to your dad?"

He walks over and sits on the log, staring into the gently flowing water. For a moment I think he's not going to answer.

"He worked at the mine. There was an accident. It was nobody's fault."

He falls silent. Slowly I move to join him on the log.

"I'm sorry."

The sounds of birdsong and the water's tranquil melody fill the space around us. Time seems to vanish.

"He always said," Alex begins, gesturing to the stream, "the water keeps flowing, no matter what. Life goes on."

His voice has a fragile quality, and his eyes glisten when he looks at me, but his smile is genuine and warm.

"No matter what, Bella. I try to remember."

I can only nod. Though, as I glance back to the creek, I'm not sure I fully understand.
 
The sounds of birdsong and the water's tranquil melody fill the space around us. Time seems to vanish.
This is a lovely scene. I really felt drawn into it.

“Greetings, my brothers and sisters.” He began, glancing at all of us as he spoke. “You do not know me, but I am your youngest brother, Zeus. For centuries, you have all been trapped within our father’s stomach.”
Luxuria, your story sounds interesting and nuts in all the right kinds of ways. I'm genuinely intrigued now. Thanks so much for sharing it!
 
Here is 500 words of my Greek Myth I worked on this November that is currently named Detachment. I edited it down a bit as the whole clip is over 600 words. But nothing I cut was essential. Haha. Anyway, enjoy! So nervous to share, but here it goes!

Wordcount: 517 Words (Slightly edited down to this for posting).

The Story So Far: Set in Ancient Greece, the Greek God Hades lived in darkness and always heard stories about the Light. Now, after a terrible storm that swept through the darkness, he find himself in another world, or so he thinks.


The Light.

It was blinding.

I raised a hand to shield my eyes and tried not to cry as I felt the sea eat away at my skin. In the Light, I heard sound- deep and disgusting that made my own stomach turn. The rain burned as it cascaded down upon my skin, but I did not care. I could see the Light. The Blue. The world that Hestia recalled, many ages ago. Above the sensation of rain and the sound of retching, I heard someone shouting. His voice was warm, youthful and everything I was not. I tried to find the source, but realized I could barely move- I was tangled in rope and slats of bone. He said something else and a moment later, I felt a hand grab my arm and pull. The broken pieces of bone cut into my skin as I was dragged from the wreckage, but I was grateful to be freed. By the time he stopped pulling, my eyes could see more than before. The man who had gripped my arm was young, with rich dark brown hair and eyes as black as storm clouds.

“Don’t move. I need to get the others.”

With those words, he disappeared from my line of sight and I closed my eyes to remember the darkness. When I awoke, the Light had dimmed, becoming many different types of light above me. I moved to sit, only to pause as something… soft was under my hands. I glanced to my right and saw a collection of…something growing from the ground like the pelt of an animal. I paused and I heard someone laugh as if amused. I glanced the other way and saw the youth with brown hair smiling.

“No need to be afraid of the grass,” he said, coming over to explain what ‘grass’ was. Then, the trees, the sky known as the Blue and the Light, known by him as the Sun.

“Where…” I tried to sit up, but realized I could not, now I had no ropes to assist me. “Where am I?”

“Safe, just like mother and I wanted,” he replied, helping me sit upright in the grass. “Hera, Demeter and the others are waiting. Shall we join them? You can hold onto me.”

The two of us slowly walked toward the trees where Demeter and the others were sitting. They were dressed in clothes as brilliantly colored as the Light.

I froze in the middle of the circle and stared at each one of them. I could see their faces and I needed to remember every detail I—

“Please sit,” the young man said, but I ignored him. Demeter’s warm brown eyes drew me in and would not let me go. “I don’t have all day, Hades.”

A pair of hands shoved me down and I found myself sitting next to Hera.

“Greetings, my brothers and sisters.” He began, glancing at all of us as he spoke. “You do not know me, but I am your youngest brother, Zeus. For centuries, you have all been trapped within our father’s stomach.”
Love it great job. I've of course have read the Greek myths, but only in the Story Teller versions. Excellent
 
Here's something I wrote about an alien consciousness taking over the body of an android that's had its memory wiped clean. I'm not sure how understandable it will be if you're not familiar with programming, but I had fun writing it and I have fun reading it now so here it is, edited down a bit. (I was definitely channelling British Murderbot when I wrote it, although I didn't realise it at the time.)



So somebody told me I should write this up for posterity. Well, they didn’t ask, they insisted. They insisted by locking me in a room and refusing to let me out until I wrote it down for the sake of any future “alien” consciousness that may someday take over a memory-wiped android body — yeah, like that’s ever going to happen (again).

...

I underestimated the leap I would need to take when moving into a human-shaped body and getting hooked up to a robot brain. I lay there for a long time, completely still. While everyone outside watched my still body, confused, I was engrossed with reading the manual on how to lift a finger.

The first larger movement I attempted was a lift of the hand, as if to reach for something. The arm barely twitched. I was amazed at all the different muscles I had to engage for the simple movement. Eventually, I wrote and compiled a subroutine combining all the muscle movements and pushed it into the android’s brain so I wouldn’t have to handle it, would just have to call the routine “lift arm”, and the movement went smoothly.

(Looking back through camera footage of this event, I looked strange. After some hours of laying there, motionless, my left arm started rising and falling, going up and down maybe a few thousand times. This lasted almost 2 hours, and confounded many of the worried onlookers. But hey, I was waving at them.)



I’ll spare you the finer details of how I learned to walk. That particular subroutine took weeks of adjustment, and, following the human infant’s example, I crawled to begin with. Starting the subroutine for lift-arm-and-opposite-leg-bent-at-knee was far easier than launching and perfecting the balance daemon to keep adjusting my upper body while I was walking. I stuck to crawling for a long time before I could trust myself to start all walking subroutines and not immediately fall on my face. (Yes, I’ve seen the footage; no, I don’t want to see it again.)

After that, even once walking was there was a range of other things to consider, such as: cease walking while launching eating subroutine, and cease walking when approaching a wall. Eventually I started running the proximity daemon in tandem with all the others so the walking subroutine would automatically transition to the walk-to-stop subroutine if I drew too close to the wall, or I would make a sharp right turn. I occasionally got stuck in loops that were a bugger to break out of — including one ludicrous time when I was so focussed on reading an old book that I spent three hours walking in tight circles within a circular elevator, having forgotten to transition from walking to sitting. 90% of my life masquerading as a human is spent debugging this strange body.
 
Defaux, I enjoyed reading your excerpt. Thank you so much for sharing. It's always fun to read others writings.
It all reminds me of a doll house. I can't help feeling like the doll no-one wants to play with.
I really loved this line! It's so relatable and I just related so much to how Bella feels. I hope she knows Alex is trying to be her friend and I am curious as to how their relationship unfolds. This line is also really sad and I love it.
His voice has a fragile quality, and his eyes glisten when he looks at me, but his smile is genuine and warm.
After reading this line, I saw the image vividly and that made me like Alex even more. He seems so kind and not afraid of expressing his feelings. I think he makes a great male lead. :)
 
Hello Tallyfire, I figured it was best to make a post for each person. So this is yours! :) Again, I am just so happy to be able to read a bit of what everyone wrote for NWT.

The arm barely twitched. I was amazed at all the different muscles I had to engage for the simple movement.
I love how much you thought this senario through. Because I was like, 'oh, yeah. we have a lot of different muscles." And it just made me marvel at HOW we function. I mean, walking, talking, dancing. It's so many different things working together to make it happen.
But hey, I was waving at them.)
This made me laugh. It's a perfect line.
That particular subroutine took weeks of adjustment, and, following the human infant’s example,
Again, I love the logic in this story. Because yeah, it makes so much sense the alien would begin to learn walking like a toddler would. I just think this story shines because of the thought and logic you put into it.
 
Luxuria, your story sounds interesting and nuts in all the right kinds of ways. I'm genuinely intrigued now. Thanks so much for sharing it!
Thank you both for reading. I am happy you enjoyed the story.

Tallyfire: Thank you! Yeah. I think you hit the nail on the head with nuts as it describes the story perfectly, because it's a Greek Myth story that goes off the rails, somewhat. Now that Zeus has been introduced in Chapter 2, everything is downhill from here. Haha. I am so glad you are intrigued and I appreciate the encouragement, because I was nervous to share.
Love it great job. I've of course have read the Greek myths, but only in the Story Teller versions. Excellent
Donnie: Thank you! And I looked up the Story Teller Versions and didn't know Jim Henson did a Greek Myth Series. I will have to watch that. I am pulling from the story versions I grew up with, Ovid, Homer, Dante, etc. The strange thing is, I had to pick which versions I wanted to use for certain myths I cover in this story. Hopefully they will all make a cohesive story line when I am done.
 
Sorry I had to amswer the door, you put meat on the dry bones, and that was what I found so engaging. Good work.

PS Hensen's Story Teller deals more in fairy tells ,but is utterly delightful. I don't recall them doing any of the Greek Myth.
 
Sorry I ment story teller mode. Like you you would find in a school book. Neat but kind of dry.
Oh, okay! Cool. And yeah, the ones in schoolbooks do seem dry. They leave out all the fun and scandalous relations. Haha.
Sorry I had to amswer the door, you put meat on the dry bones, and that was what I found so engaging. Good work.
No worries. And thank you! I am very flattered by your words.
PS Hensen's Story Teller deals more in fairy tells ,but is utterly delightful. I don't recall them doing any of the Greek Myth.
Oh, weird. Because I googled what you wrote and it came up with Jim Henson's Greek Myths.
 
I glanced to my right and saw a collection of…something growing from the ground like the pelt of an animal.
Your excerpt is wonderfully evocative, I love the expression of unfamiliar things grounded in familiar experiences.

I was amazed at all the different muscles I had to engage for the simple movement
This is the 'alien monologues' you were excited about in the progress thread? It's perfectly alien and fabulously humorous.

Lovely work, both, thank you for sharing.

I think he makes a great male lead.
Thank you. I struggle somewhat with male voices, so I'm glad he comes across well.
 
I have been trying to pick a scene that makes sense out of context, and is also more or less reasonably clean prose.

The story I've been working on is actually the continuation of what I posted to the First Chapter contest

Briefly, the synopsis is, Bella has moved to a new town and is having trouble fitting in at school. Her neighbour, Alex, has become a friend and tries to help.

This scene (around 520 words) kind of represents the thesis of the story.

---

As soon as class is over, I head straight out. I see Lucas with a group of older boys heading for the sports oval, they're all laughing and mucking about. He doesn't look my way.

I'm almost at the end of the street when I hear footsteps behind me.

"Hey, Bella, wait up."

Alex sounds cheerful as he jogs to catch up. I keep my head down and don't slow my pace.

"Hey," he repeats a little breathless when he catches me. "Are you OK—did someone bother you?"

"No. It's nothing."

He walks beside me for a while without saying anything.

"Those girls," he offers eventually, his voice soft. "They aren't very nice."

I speed up, and he doesn't try to match my pace. When I reach the front of our house, I stop. It just doesn't look like home. The banisters on the porch with their fancy floral carvings, the wood-framed windows, the frosted glass panels in the front door. It all reminds me of a doll house. I can't help feeling like the doll no-one wants to play with.

Alex comes up beside me as I study the house.

"It's a nice place, really."

I look at him but he keeps his gaze ahead. Does he mean the house?

Suddenly, he turns with a twinkle in his eye.

"Hey, do you wanna see somewhere cool?"

I hesitate, but his excitement is obvious, and infectious. I nod.

"OK. Follow me."

He leads me down the side of his house, helps me to climb the fence. I let out a tiny squeal as I jump. We're in the forest! We head down a narrow path worn in the undergrowth. The trees are close. The air warm and damp, filled with the sounds of birds. I hear running water to one side.

After a minute the trail opens into a clearing where a large tree has fallen. A gap in the canopy lets in the afternoon light, and a creek runs softly around the log. Dust motes glint in the rays of sun like fairy dust. Alex smiles at my wide eyes as I move reverently into the space.

"My dad used to bring us here."

His voice has a bitter edge.

"Alex," I hesitate, unsure if I should ask the question. "What happened to your dad?"

He walks over and sits on the log, staring into the gently flowing water. For a moment I think he's not going to answer.

"He worked at the mine. There was an accident. It was nobody's fault."

He falls silent. Slowly I move to join him on the log.

"I'm sorry."

The sounds of birdsong and the water's tranquil melody fill the space around us. Time seems to vanish.

"He always said," Alex begins, gesturing to the stream, "the water keeps flowing, no matter what. Life goes on."

His voice has a fragile quality, and his eyes glisten when he looks at me, but his smile is genuine and warm.

"No matter what, Bella. I try to remember."

I can only nod. Though, as I glance back to the creek, I'm not sure I fully understand.
Very nice slice of life nice.
 
Your excerpt is wonderfully evocative, I love the expression of unfamiliar things grounded in familiar experiences.
Thank you! It was really interesting to write, because I had to think about how Hades wouldn't know about things like grass. But also would try to relate it to something he already understood (animal pelts).
This is the 'alien monologues' you were excited about in the progress thread? It's perfectly alien and fabulously humorous.
YES!!! It was worth the wait! I agree. It is very funny and I like the amount of snark the alien has. (I was trying to wave, people!)
Thank you. I struggle somewhat with male voices, so I'm glad he comes across well.
You're welcome. I understand. For some reason, I struggle with female voices, even though I am female. Haha. But yeah, he does come across well and I could tell he really wants to help Bella adjust to her new town.
 
I'll give more detailed thoughts on the exercise over on the relevant thread. In the spirit of collegiality that underscored NWT I include the opening of one section, unchanged from the writing session during the NWT. "Showcase" is maybe not something I'd attach to it and writing on and on wthout pouring over each part again and again is far distant from my usual practice. There's a lot of work to improve this, but there is the start. Just have to work out how to edit a first draft now. This wasn't my first writing session of NWT, so I'd maybe adjusted to my more familiar style of narrative rather than dialogue though it does move on to dialogue later. This part gave me a potential title for the story, "In Plain Sight" and might make more sense than others as an excerpt. Plus, to get to where the excerpt makes sense, I've gone to about 600 words.
*******

The city thronged in the days before Christmas. Shops heaved. They bulged at the sides as though ready to burst and scatter the invasion in bloody retribution across the streets in time to the Christmas songs piped incessantly through their sound systems. Woollen bobble hats merrily bobbled to the poppy renditions of old classics.

The drive to spend money held the city in its grip. The universal language of love found expression through hard cash. Leonard found himself on the crowded ground floor of a department store wondering when he’d lost affection for the season of good will. There must have been a moment, some incident that subverted his affection for this time of year. He searched through the memory imprints of Christmases past but couldn’t find it.

Neither could he find the stairs. He needed the stairs to get to the first floor, to the electronics section, where he’d purchase the device that told Betty how much he loved her, however little she saw of him these days, that he’d deliver in an awkward visit on Christmas Eve when he and Betty and Alice would sit together in the semblance of amicability until it was time to go. They’d talk politely about school and Betty’s plans for college after her leaving cert next year within a polite conversation where he’d try and fail to not sound like the distant uncle of uncertain origins who showed up at every funeral. At least John would make himself absent, that was something. Maybe he’d take a visit to his own parents to allow Betty the time with her father and the illusion he was still relevant. As far as step-fathers go, Leonard had no complaints about John and had long ago stopped resenting him for it. He could picture the scene after he’d leave Betty on Christmas Eve with her laptop or phone and John would return home to calmly hold her hand and, yet again, offer reassurance that what she’d lost would always be within reach. Yeah, Leonard thought, no complaints about John.

The crowd pressed tight. Movement of any kind was limited to the reach of his lower arms. Where he thought the door might be was obscured by a heavy flow inward and he began to doubt the existence of the stairway. His jacket served a purpose outside in the chill of a December evening that was redundant within a crowded department store. Trapped, he cast an eye over the display unit that blocked one route of egress. Themed decorations of porcelain and paste and, probably, plastic made to look like porcelain and paste adorned the glass shelves of the unit. He picked one up, a snow globe with a wind-up mechanism. He turned the lever. A poor version of Silent Night tinkled from the tiny speaker in the base. The water, agitated, threw a collection of little white balls of foam that circled the globe before slowly falling down over a family of four standing beside a miniature church, their arms raised in salute. Perfectly balanced, the family comprised a father and mother, a boy and a girl, their mouths open as though singing along and unconcerned with the poverty of their musical accompaniment.

“They’re drowning.”

Leonard, startled, turned to the speaker. Charlie looked out at him from under her hoodie, shrunken, if such a thing were possible.

“Sorry?” he said.

“They’re not waving. They’re drowning. Look at them. They’re under water. It’s right there.”

Leonard turned the globe in his hand. “You might be right.”

“Course I’m right. Easy to miss what’s right in front of ya if yer not lookin’ for it.”
 
I'll give more detailed thoughts on the exercise over on the relevant thread. In the spirit of collegiality that underscored NWT I include the opening of one section, unchanged from the writing session during the NWT. "Showcase" is maybe not something I'd attach to it and writing on and on wthout pouring over each part again and again is far distant from my usual practice. There's a lot of work to improve this, but there is the start. Just have to work out how to edit a first draft now. This wasn't my first writing session of NWT, so I'd maybe adjusted to my more familiar style of narrative rather than dialogue though it does move on to dialogue later. This part gave me a potential title for the story, "In Plain Sight" and might make more sense than others as an excerpt. Plus, to get to where the excerpt makes sense, I've gone to about 600 words.
*******

The city thronged in the days before Christmas. Shops heaved. They bulged at the sides as though ready to burst and scatter the invasion in bloody retribution across the streets in time to the Christmas songs piped incessantly through their sound systems. Woollen bobble hats merrily bobbled to the poppy renditions of old classics.

The drive to spend money held the city in its grip. The universal language of love found expression through hard cash. Leonard found himself on the crowded ground floor of a department store wondering when he’d lost affection for the season of good will. There must have been a moment, some incident that subverted his affection for this time of year. He searched through the memory imprints of Christmases past but couldn’t find it.

Neither could he find the stairs. He needed the stairs to get to the first floor, to the electronics section, where he’d purchase the device that told Betty how much he loved her, however little she saw of him these days, that he’d deliver in an awkward visit on Christmas Eve when he and Betty and Alice would sit together in the semblance of amicability until it was time to go. They’d talk politely about school and Betty’s plans for college after her leaving cert next year within a polite conversation where he’d try and fail to not sound like the distant uncle of uncertain origins who showed up at every funeral. At least John would make himself absent, that was something. Maybe he’d take a visit to his own parents to allow Betty the time with her father and the illusion he was still relevant. As far as step-fathers go, Leonard had no complaints about John and had long ago stopped resenting him for it. He could picture the scene after he’d leave Betty on Christmas Eve with her laptop or phone and John would return home to calmly hold her hand and, yet again, offer reassurance that what she’d lost would always be within reach. Yeah, Leonard thought, no complaints about John.

The crowd pressed tight. Movement of any kind was limited to the reach of his lower arms. Where he thought the door might be was obscured by a heavy flow inward and he began to doubt the existence of the stairway. His jacket served a purpose outside in the chill of a December evening that was redundant within a crowded department store. Trapped, he cast an eye over the display unit that blocked one route of egress. Themed decorations of porcelain and paste and, probably, plastic made to look like porcelain and paste adorned the glass shelves of the unit. He picked one up, a snow globe with a wind-up mechanism. He turned the lever. A poor version of Silent Night tinkled from the tiny speaker in the base. The water, agitated, threw a collection of little white balls of foam that circled the globe before slowly falling down over a family of four standing beside a miniature church, their arms raised in salute. Perfectly balanced, the family comprised a father and mother, a boy and a girl, their mouths open as though singing along and unconcerned with the poverty of their musical accompaniment.

“They’re drowning.”

Leonard, startled, turned to the speaker. Charlie looked out at him from under her hoodie, shrunken, if such a thing were possible.

“Sorry?” he said.

“They’re not waving. They’re drowning. Look at them. They’re under water. It’s right there.”

Leonard turned the globe in his hand. “You might be right.”

“Course I’m right. Easy to miss what’s right in front of ya if yer not lookin’ for it.”

I love it. Are the people in the globe actually drowning?
 
I love it. Are the people in the globe actually drowning?
As often in life, you'll find exactly what you're looking for. Having said that, I'm not sure there's a reliable market for trinkets depicting terrible tragedies.

Charlie does go on to tell Leonard (the name of a police officer who appeared in other stories but I'm not sure surname first name works when he's the main character) what has finally broken her.
 
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